Discuss when, if ever capital punishment can be viewed as a valid punishment for a crime.

Sample Response

1

In the world we live in today, there are different views concerning capital punishmentconcerning Capital Punishment. Some would regard it as beneficial; however, some are sceptical about it. In this essay, both views will be discussed. There are those who do not agree with the death penalty for reasons such as police authorities could be mistaken "the real culprit" to "a culprit". In fact, there has been a situation before that the policecops just wanted to prove that they hadhave solved the case by arrestingpicking up the one who they believed committeddid the crime withoutnot knowing who actually did it. An example is the case of an Australian man named Mr. Johnson. He was prosecuted for committing murder and was hanged in the middle of the city-centre in Melbourne, but surprisingly, a week after his execution, a hesitant witness came out and identified the person who had actually murdered the victim to the Victorian policepointed to the Victorian police who actually murdered the victim. This was a hot topic because of the resulting public concernbecause of the public awareness, and this is the reason why such punishment is being rejecteddisregarded. On the other hand, there are manyvarious people who believe in it because it could bring peace and order to societygive peace and order in the society. For instance, here in the Philippines, crimes such as rape, murder, homicide, robbery and other offencesmany types of it are reported in Philippine television newsare being committed as evidence in Philippine TV news. So, people strongly believe that capital punishment is needed to bring back the peace and harmony in the country. In the pastWay back, during the term of late President Ferdinand E. Marcos, the death penalty was strictly imposed, regardless of whether the offenderwhether the sinner was wealthy and powerful or not. An example is the famous Chinese drug lord who was executed by the country's firing squad and televised it to the public. As a result, Filipinos were afraid to commitdo crimes and the Philippines was even featuredthe Philippine has even featured in New York Times magazine as one of the best countries to live in. In conclusion, with regard to what I think, I believe that death penalty must be implemented. It is because heinous crimes are rampantvery rampant these days, but we need to examine deliberately and intensely who the real crime-committer is.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

The response considers the risk of wrongful conviction and the possible deterrent effect of capital punishment, then offers a conditional position favouring it for serious crime after careful identification. Its main limitation is that the condition for validity is not developed until the conclusion, while questionable examples, no paragraphing, and recurring language errors weaken the argument. Define the necessary legal safeguards early and support them with focused, credible reasoning.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.0
Scoring rule

Both central perspectives are discussed and a conditional view is given, but the circumstances making execution valid are not fully developed.

Next step

State clear conditions such as offence severity and certainty of guilt, then justify each with credible evidence.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5
Scoring rule

The opposing arguments and conclusion follow a basic logical sequence, but the single-paragraph presentation and lengthy examples weaken progression.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for wrongful conviction, deterrence, legal safeguards, and the final conditional judgement.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

There is sufficient vocabulary for crime and punishment, but frequent inaccurate collocations and informal or imprecise expressions reduce clarity.

Next step

Use precise legal terms for conviction, evidence, deterrence, serious offences, and procedural safeguards.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

A range of structures is attempted, but recurring errors in clauses, articles, agreement, prepositions, and passive forms are noticeable.

Next step

Shorten long sentences and check that every clause has a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and logical connection.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Discuss when, if ever capital punishment can be viewed as a valid punishment for a crime.

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