Even though experts believe that walking is a great way to improve one’s health, very few people walk nowadays. Why aren’t people walking? What can be done to encourage them to walk more?
Sample Response
The benefits of walking are numerous, and experts recommend it as a good way to keep healthy and fit. Despite this, the number of people who walk on a daily basis is on the decline. The reasons for this are manifold, but there are also several solutions that may help people walk more.
Lack of time is the most common reason people cite for not engaging in any form of physical activity. These days most people have hectic schedules that involve juggling their work and home responsibilities. As a result, they are often too exhausted or pressed for time and therefore opt for faster and more comfortable forms of transport, such as cars, bikes or public transport. Another major reason for the reduced number of pedestrians on the roads is a lack of safety. Most full-time workers are not free to walk during the day, and will skip it in the evenings or early morning hours, if they do not feel safe enough to do so.
Fortunately, there are quite a few solutions to this issue. One is making walkers safe, which means the government should ensure that there are enough sidewalks and streetlights available in every suburb, so that pedestrians can walk or jog safely whenever time allows. Another useful option is to create special walking tracks and parks in neighbourhoods where people can get some much-needed exercise in the evenings. The added benefit of promoting the healthy lifestyle and walking in the community makes this solution even more attractive.
To conclude, the pressures of daily life and lack of safely while walking reduce the popularity of this healthy practice. Governments can reverse this trend by creating more green spaces for people to walk in and addressing their safety concerns.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: on a daily basis Suggested revision: daily Why it matters: The shorter adverb expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 2. Use direct phrasing Original: The reasons for this are manifold Suggested revision: There are several reasons for this Why it matters: This revision is more natural and less inflated in an academic introduction.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: These days most people Suggested revision: These days, most people Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory time phrase from the main clause.
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: reduced number of pedestrians on the roads Suggested revision: decline in the number of pedestrians Why it matters: This phrasing states the downward trend more naturally.
- 5. Correct the expression Original: making walkers safe Suggested revision: making walking safer Why it matters: The intended solution is to improve the safety of the activity rather than the walkers themselves.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: enough sidewalks and streetlights available Suggested revision: enough sidewalks and streetlights Why it matters: The word available is unnecessary after there are enough.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: quite a few solutions Suggested revision: several solutions Why it matters: Several is more concise and suitably formal here.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: special walking tracks Suggested revision: dedicated walking paths Why it matters: Dedicated walking paths is a more idiomatic term for purpose-built routes.
- 9. Correct the article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The general singular count noun requires the indefinite article here.
- 10. Use the noun form Original: safely Suggested revision: safety Why it matters: The preposition of requires the noun safety rather than the adverb safely.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Most full-time workers are not free to walk during the day, and will skip it in the evenings or early morning hours, if they do not feel safe enough to do so. Suggested revision: Most full-time workers cannot walk during the day and may also avoid walking in the evening or early morning if they feel unsafe. Why it matters: This rewrite fixes the unclear reference of it and the faulty coordination while preserving the stated reason.
Suggested Rewrites
- on a daily basis daily
- The reasons for this are manifold There are several reasons for this
- These days most people These days, most people
- reduced number of pedestrians on the roads decline in the number of pedestrians
- making walkers safe making walking safer
- enough sidewalks and streetlights available enough sidewalks and streetlights
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct coverage of both causes and practical solutions, supported by clear explanations and a consistently logical progression. Its main limitation is that the proposed measures address safety more fully than the lack-of-time cause, while a few awkward word choices slightly reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one targeted solution for each identified cause and proofread for small lexical slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses both questions with relevant, well-developed reasons and practical measures.
Develop a specific measure that directly tackles time pressure as fully as the safety-related solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Make the correspondence between each cause and its proposed solution even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective topic-specific expressions used naturally.
Proofread minor slips such as the incorrect form in 'lack of safely' and refine occasional awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only rare non-impeding errors.
Polish comma placement and article use in longer sentences to achieve still greater grammatical control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Even though experts believe that walking is a great way to improve one’s health, very few people walk nowadays. Why aren’t people walking? What can be done to encourage them to walk more?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.