In most parts of the world, people are living longer. What is the possible cause of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development?
Sample Response
In several countries across the world, the death rate has decreased dramatically. This may be due to several reasons and this essay will analyse those and also suggest whether it brings benefits or drawbacksbrings benefit or drawback to societyto the society. The first and foremost reasonFirst and foremost reason for this scenario is advances in healthcare technologythe revolution of healthcare technology. This is because the fatal diseases or disorders which were considered difficult to fight against have become an easier task to tackle these days. Polio is one good example in India which no longer causes death or disorder among people which once was a very devastating disease. Moreover, technological advancesthe technical advancements also facilitateare also facilitating complicated cardiac surgeries, organ transplantation and 3D printed organ replacement. So these illustrations demonstrate the valuable roleare proving the worthy role of technology in improving people's livesin enriching and enhancing of people’s life. While individuals' lifespans increasethe lifespan of individuals’ increases, a longer life would clearly bring benefitsit would obviously benefit in several ways both to individuals and to societyboth to individual and society. As far as a single person is concerned, if they live longer,if he lives longer then it is certain that he would complete all his responsibilities in a proper way and lead a happy and contented life with their familywith his or family. From a broader perspectiveLooking onto the other side, the benefits outweighoutnumber the disadvantages here as well. Due to the contributions of people such as scientistscontribution of persons like scientists, politicians and other leaders to the nation over a longer periodto the nation for a longer duration, the development of the nation is an achievable goala reachable goal. By and large, people are living longer, healthier livesthe people are having healthy and longer life because of the intervention of technology in the healthcare sector. This has been proven as a positive impact on both individuals and a larger community and thus can be taken as a sign of betterment.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay identifies advances in healthcare as the main cause of longer lives and supports this with relevant examples of disease control, surgery, and transplantation. Its positive judgement is clear and includes benefits for individuals and society. The main limitation is that those benefits are asserted rather generally and the one-paragraph presentation weakens progression; prioritise developing one realistic social benefit in a separate body paragraph with a clearer causal explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear healthcare cause and positive position, though the claimed individual and national benefits need fuller support.
Develop one concrete way that longer lives benefit society and explain the mechanism rather than broadly asserting greater national development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves recognisably from causes to individual and social benefits, but the single paragraph and some inaccurate transitions weaken clarity.
Separate healthcare causes, individual benefits, and social benefits into focused paragraphs with transitions that accurately show their relationship.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for healthcare and social development, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as ‘medical advances’, ‘increase life expectancy’, ‘improve quality of life’, and ‘benefit society’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main message, although errors recur in articles, agreement, possessives, tense, and clause formation.
Control each sentence around one main clause and check noun phrases such as ‘an individual’s lifespan’ and ‘a positive impact’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In most parts of the world, people are living longer. What is the possible cause of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.