Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports give some suggestions on how to deal with dangerous.
Sample Response
first and foremost reason is that, sometimes people love to do adventures and thriller activities so they take part in such types of games. Furthermore, some people are very ambitious and they like to accept challenges in their life. For instance, Marry com is an Indian boxer and she injured so many time during the game but she always ready to take challenges. In addition to it, People prefer to participate in some fighting games because they gain some skills how to defined themselves.
Moreover, mostly people think that more profit. They take part in more risky games which help them to solve the Montery problem.Last but not the least, Dangerous games give easily publicity to persons. They gain name and fame in short time after take part in dangerous games.
There are some suggestions to deal with these games. Firstly professional training should be provided to people by trainer that help them to reduce the risk Secondly, Government also implement some rule and regulation regarding to support and safety. Apart from that, awareness of dangerous also help to people handle it easily.
To put it in a nutshell, a pen down saying that games provide us enjoyment and help us to forget all our worries and anxieties but we should take proper training before participating in dangerous games.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and capital Original: first and foremost reason Suggested revision: The first and foremost reason Why it matters: The sentence needs an initial capital and the definite article before the superlative phrase.
- 2. Remove incorrect comma Original: is that, Suggested revision: is that Why it matters: A comma should not separate “that” from the clause it introduces.
- 3. Correct collocation Original: do adventures Suggested revision: seek adventure Why it matters: English speakers seek adventure rather than do adventures.
- 4. Use adjective form Original: thriller Suggested revision: thrilling Why it matters: “Thrilling” describes exciting activities, while “thriller” is normally a noun.
- 5. Use accurate task term Original: such types of games Suggested revision: such sports Why it matters: “Sports” is more precise and avoids the wordy phrase “types of games.”
- 6. Improve collocation Original: accept challenges Suggested revision: take on challenges Why it matters: “Take on challenges” is the natural collocation for willingly confronting difficulty.
- 7. Match plural possessive Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural subject “people” requires the plural noun “lives” in this general statement.
- 8. Fix linking phrase Original: In addition to it Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: “In addition” is the appropriate additive linker without an object here.
- 9. Use lower-case word Original: People Suggested revision: people Why it matters: The word follows a comma within the same sentence and should not be capitalized.
- 10. Use precise term Original: fighting games Suggested revision: combat sports Why it matters: “Combat sports” is the more accurate term for organized activities such as boxing.
- 11. Repair verb structure Original: gain some skills how to defined themselves Suggested revision: gain skills in defending themselves Why it matters: The revision supplies the required preposition and correct gerund form.
- 12. Use quantifying adjective Original: mostly Suggested revision: most Why it matters: “Most” modifies the noun “people,” while “mostly” is an adverb.
Suggested Rewrites
- first and foremost reason The first and foremost reason
- is that, is that
- do adventures seek adventure
- thriller thrilling
- such types of games such sports
- accept challenges take on challenges
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies several recognizable motivations and offers relevant safety measures, with a basic causes-and-solutions structure that remains understandable. However, it is under length, most ideas are listed rather than developed, and frequent grammar and word-choice errors sometimes strain meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to build two or three central ideas with clear explanations and accurate examples while using complete, carefully punctuated sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed, but the under-length response presents mostly brief, unevenly supported ideas.
Select fewer causes and solutions and develop each one through a clear explanation and relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable progression from reasons to suggestions, though linking is mechanical and punctuation often obscures sentence boundaries.
Use clear topic sentences and basic punctuation to connect each supporting point within its paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, but frequent spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Prioritize accurate common collocations such as protect themselves and gain publicity before attempting less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction cause strain.
Build complete sentences with a clear subject and correctly formed verb, then check agreement and plural endings.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports give some suggestions on how to deal with dangerous.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.