Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?
Sample Response
In our society, while some individuals cling to the same way of life resisting the currents of change in society and their personal lives, others recognize change as a catalyst for progress and growth. This essay will explore the motivations behind this resistance to change and illuminate why embracing change is often essential for individual and societal advancement.
One primary reason why individuals resist change stems from a natural human inclination towards routine and predictability. For them, familiar patterns and established routines provide a sense of security and control in an often chaotic world, and change disrupts this equilibrium, introducing uncertainty and the potential for discomfort. Individuals may fear losing cherished traditions, established social structures, or even their sense of personal identity when confronted with societal shifts. For example, the rapid advancement of technology can be unsettling for those accustomed to traditional methods of communication or work.
Furthermore, negative past experiences with change can create a sense of apprehension and distrust. Individuals who have witnessed poorly managed societal reforms or experienced personal setbacks due to unforeseen circumstances may develop a cynical outlook, viewing change as inherently detrimental. For example, a community that has experienced negative consequences from poorly planned urban development might resist future infrastructure projects.
However, change, while sometimes unsettling, is the engine of progress. It is through adaptation and innovation that societies evolve and improve. Technological advancements, for instance, have revolutionized healthcare, communication, and countless other aspects of modern life, leading to increased lifespans, greater connectivity, and improved standards of living. Social reforms, while often met with initial resistance, have led to greater equality, justice, and opportunity for marginalized groups. The civil rights movement, for example, drastically altered the social and political landscape, dismantling discriminatory practices and paving the way for a more inclusive society. On a personal level, embracing change fosters resilience, adaptability, and personal growth. Stepping outside of one's comfort zone, confronting new challenges, and learning new skills broaden horizons and enrich lives.
In conclusion, while the human desire for stability and predictability is understandable, resisting change ultimately hinders progress and limits potential. Change, while sometimes disruptive, is the driving force behind societal advancement and personal growth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct wording Original: the motivations behind this resistance to change Suggested revision: the reasons for this resistance to change Why it matters: “The reasons for” is more direct than the abstract phrase “the motivations behind.”
- 2. Use neutral academic verb Original: illuminate Suggested revision: explain Why it matters: “Explain” states the essay’s purpose more directly and neutrally.
- 3. Use concise collocation Original: inclination towards Suggested revision: preference for Why it matters: “Preference for” conveys the same idea more concisely.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: this equilibrium Suggested revision: this sense of stability Why it matters: The replacement links more explicitly to the preceding ideas of security and control.
- 5. Remove redundant wording Original: negative past experiences Suggested revision: negative experiences Why it matters: Experiences necessarily occurred in the past, so “past” is redundant here.
- 6. Correct preposition Original: from Suggested revision: of Why it matters: “Consequences of” is the correct prepositional construction for the event producing a result.
- 7. Use concise expression Original: is the engine of progress Suggested revision: drives progress Why it matters: “Drives progress” expresses the metaphor more concisely.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: increased Suggested revision: longer Why it matters: “Longer lifespans” is the more natural collocation for greater longevity.
- 9. Use more direct phrasing Original: paving the way for Suggested revision: helping to create Why it matters: The replacement states the result directly and avoids a familiar metaphor.
- 10. Remove unnecessary preposition Original: Stepping outside of one's comfort zone Suggested revision: Stepping outside one's comfort zone Why it matters: “Outside” can take the noun phrase directly in this expression.
- 11. Separate shifts in scale Suggested revision: Separate the societal examples from the final personal-level point so the change in focus is easier to follow. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts from broad social progress to individual growth without a clear structural break.
Suggested Rewrites
- the motivations behind this resistance to change the reasons for this resistance to change
- illuminate explain
- inclination towards preference for
- this equilibrium this sense of stability
- negative past experiences negative experiences
- from of
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response directly and convincingly answers both questions through well-developed explanations, apt examples, and a consistently clear line of argument. Its main limitation is stylistic rather than substantive: a few sentences are densely packed, and some ideas about progress and growth recur in similar language. Prioritize tightening those passages and varying repeated formulations while preserving the strong analytical depth and precise academic tone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed with well-developed reasons, relevant examples, and a clear concluding position.
For further refinement, briefly acknowledge a circumstance in which change may not be beneficial before reaffirming the qualified positive case.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses seamlessly from causes of resistance to the benefits of change, with effective paragraphing and cohesive control.
Trim small repetitions of the progress-and-growth theme to make the progression even more economical.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible, with natural control of abstract language and topic-specific expressions.
Vary recurring terms such as change, progress, and personal growth where an equally precise alternative fits naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures accurately, with only rare minor awkwardness in densely constructed sentences.
Lightly simplify the longest multi-clause sentences to sharpen readability without reducing syntactic variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.