What are the reasons for declines of wild animals? What are possible solutions to mitigate this problem?
Sample Response
Animals are an integral part of our eco-system. However, it is irrefutable that the percentage of wild animals are reducing rapidly from the last half-century. There are numerous of a reason behind it. I will elaborate on these reason and effective steps which help to protect wildlife.
First and foremost reason behind it is deforestation. Nowadays the human population is increasing day by day so that the demand for society also rise than supply. as a result of it, people need more accommodation, food, industries, and a better lifestyle in order to fulfill all these desires they cut the natural habitat of animals. Secondly, hunting is also a big concern in animals downward trend. Some segment of society killed the wild animals for their our benefits Such as, for decorating their house or office, cosmetics, clothes. In other words, Some people use tiger skin for an interior of their house, tusks of elephants also use for import and export to gain profit. Thus, Individuals put wildlife in danger for their own benefits.
There is some possible solution to solve this problem. first of all, Individual and government should co-operate with each other. To illustrate if anyone saw a wild animal in a living area then they should inform the forest department first instead of beating them. Moreover, the government should enact some strict law against hunting or cutting the trees. last but not least, everyone should plant more and more tree to give natural habitat to animals.
To conclude, deforestation and the overcrowded area is the main reasons for decreasing the wild animals but it is quite important to protect them and this is only possible with the co-operation of society. If they do not save them new then new generation cannot see them in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use population wording Original: the percentage of wild animals are reducing rapidly Suggested revision: wild animal populations are declining rapidly Why it matters: Populations decline, whereas a percentage is normally described as falling.
- 2. Correct time preposition Original: from Suggested revision: over Why it matters: Use “over” for a change continuing across a period of time.
- 3. Fix noun phrase Original: numerous of a reason Suggested revision: numerous reasons Why it matters: “Numerous” directly modifies a plural countable noun.
- 4. Use plural noun Original: reason Suggested revision: reasons Why it matters: The demonstrative “these” requires a plural noun.
- 5. Repair comparison Original: so that the demand for society also rise than supply Suggested revision: so society’s demand exceeds supply Why it matters: The revision fixes the subject–verb agreement and expresses the comparison accurately.
- 6. Clarify causal wording Original: a big concern in animals downward trend Suggested revision: a major cause of the decline in animal populations Why it matters: The original collocation does not clearly state that hunting contributes to the decline.
- 7. Fix number and tense Original: Some segment of society killed Suggested revision: Some segments of society kill Why it matters: The general claim needs a plural subject and present-tense verb.
- 8. Remove conflicting possessive Original: for their our benefits Suggested revision: for their own benefit Why it matters: “Their” and “our” cannot jointly modify the same noun in this construction.
- 9. Improve noun phrasing Original: use tiger skin for an interior of their house Suggested revision: use tiger skins in their home interiors Why it matters: The revision uses natural plural and prepositional forms for this general example.
- 10. Use passive voice Original: tusks of elephants also use Suggested revision: elephant tusks are also used Why it matters: The tusks receive the action, so a passive verb is required.
- 11. Correct capitalization Original: Individuals Suggested revision: individuals Why it matters: A common noun after a comma should not be capitalized here.
- 12. Match plural forms Original: There is some possible solution Suggested revision: There are some possible solutions Why it matters: The plural meaning requires “are” and the plural noun “solutions.”
Suggested Rewrites
- the percentage of wild animals are reducing rapidly wild animal populations are declining rapidly
- from over
- numerous of a reason numerous reasons
- reason reasons
- so that the demand for society also rise than supply so society’s demand exceeds supply
- a big concern in animals downward trend a major cause of the decline in animal populations
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is that it addresses both causes and solutions with a clear paragraph structure and generally relevant examples. Its main limitation is the frequent grammatical and word-choice errors, which make several explanations awkward or imprecise even though the central meaning remains understandable. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each proposed solution more specifically while checking subject–verb agreement, noun forms, and collocations throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with relevant causes and solutions, although several points are only briefly or loosely developed.
Explain how each proposed measure would directly reduce habitat loss or hunting, using one precise supporting example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear cause-and-solution structure, but mechanical linking and some poorly controlled sentences weaken the flow within paragraphs.
Use fewer formulaic linkers and connect each claim to its explanation in complete, clearly punctuated sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but frequent inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward combinations such as descriptions of animal decline with accurate topic collocations, and check singular and plural noun forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, capitalization, and sentence-structure errors reduce control.
Prioritize subject–verb agreement and complete sentence boundaries, then proofread articles and plural endings systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
What are the reasons for declines of wild animals? What are possible solutions to mitigate this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.