Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
People have different opinions about saving and protecting wild animals. A group of people believe that all wild animals should be protected while others think that we should only preserve several ones. The following paragraphs will discuss both views in detail, but I personally believe that all wild animals should be conserved. For a number of reasons, some people believe that not all wild animals should be preserved. Firstly, they believe that the overpopulation of wild animals could become a threat for our existence. For example, should the population of Zebra and Wildebeest in Africa is protected, then the existence of these animals might become overpopulated, and as a result, they might explore the farming areas in Africa. Secondly, conserving wild animals requires a large amount of money. They believe that these funds should be allocated for humanity issues, as many third world countries are still struggling against starvation and deathly diseases. However, others think that all wild animals must be protected. The main reason behind this view is that all of the wild animals plays an important role in the ecosystem. Should there be one of these animals extinct, then the ecosystem would be unbalanced and it might have a catastrophic effect on the environment. Another reason is that the existence of these wild animal is beneficial for human beings. Scientists have found out that some wild animals could be used as a medical treatment, such as the blood of a snake which can be used to heal skin diseases. There is another reason that forms the opinion that all wild animals are important and should be equally protected. The reason explains that if we protect some selected wild animals, others might get extinct and then we will damage the biodiversity of the world. In conclusion, a number of people believe that we should protect all wild animals, while others think that we should only preserve some of them. Both groups have their own opinions, but I strongly believe that we should conserve all wild animals.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise animal noun Original: several ones Suggested revision: a few species Why it matters: Ones cannot naturally substitute for wild animals here, while species expresses the intended subset.
- 2. Correct the preposition Original: a threat for our existence Suggested revision: a threat to our existence Why it matters: Threat takes the preposition to when naming what is endangered.
- 3. Correct preposition and adjective Original: allocated for humanity issues Suggested revision: allocated to humanitarian issues Why it matters: Funds are allocated to a purpose, and humanitarian is the adjective describing human welfare concerns.
- 4. Use current neutral term Original: third world countries Suggested revision: developing countries Why it matters: Developing countries is a more neutral and precise term in this context.
- 5. Correct the preposition Original: struggling against starvation Suggested revision: struggling with starvation Why it matters: Struggle with is the natural construction for experiencing a serious condition.
- 6. Choose correct adjective Original: deathly diseases Suggested revision: deadly diseases Why it matters: Deadly means capable of causing death, while deathly usually describes an appearance or atmosphere.
- 7. Fix agreement and article Original: all of the wild animals plays Suggested revision: all wild animals play Why it matters: The plural subject requires play, and the article is unnecessary in the general statement.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: The main reason behind this view Suggested revision: The main reason for this view Why it matters: Reason for is the standard collocation when explaining a viewpoint.
- 9. Repair conditional inversion Original: Should there be one of these animals extinct Suggested revision: Should one of these animals become extinct Why it matters: The inverted conditional needs the subject followed by the base verb become.
- 10. Fix plural agreement Original: these wild animal is Suggested revision: these wild animals are Why it matters: The determiner these requires a plural noun and plural verb.
- 11. Use formal reporting verb Original: found out Suggested revision: found Why it matters: Found is sufficient and more formal when reporting a scientific finding.
- 12. Correct treatment phrase Original: used as a medical treatment Suggested revision: used in medical treatments Why it matters: An animal is not itself a treatment but may be used in treatments.
Suggested Rewrites
- several ones a few species
- a threat for our existence a threat to our existence
- allocated for humanity issues allocated to humanitarian issues
- third world countries developing countries
- struggling against starvation struggling with starvation
- deathly diseases deadly diseases
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in presenting arguments for both selective and universal protection and maintaining a clear preference for conserving all species. Its main limitation is that the essay is written as one long paragraph, several examples are scientifically doubtful or poorly explained, and frequent language errors make some reasoning difficult to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to use credible ecosystem evidence and organise each view into a focused paragraph before comparing the competing priorities directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented with several relevant reasons, but some examples are implausible, inaccurate, or insufficiently explained.
Use credible examples of ecosystem interdependence, conservation costs, and prioritisation, then explain why universal protection is preferable despite limited resources.
Coherence and Cohesion
A broad progression between the two views and conclusion is visible, but the absence of paragraphing and repetitive signposting weaken coherence.
Use separate paragraphs for selective protection, universal protection, the writer’s comparison, and the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations, word forms, and informal expressions reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as “preserve several ones,” “humanity issues,” “deathly diseases,” and “used as a medical treatment” with accurate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, conditionals, articles, plurals, and clause construction reduce clarity.
Practise correct conditional forms and subject-verb agreement, especially in sentences about animal populations and extinction.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.