No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Over the recent years, a presence of nature in average citizen’s life has significantly decreased. The essay bellow will analyze whether this fact affects both on human wellness and well-being. Firstly, a meditative effect of nature takes a lot out of people. Concentrating on a breeze, sound of fallen leaves and birds’ songs really makes everyone loosen and perk up. Even more, spending time in the nature with a relaxing outcome is called ecotherapy in psychology. Thus, being around natural habitat is a mental uplifting activity. However, someone is capable of truly enjoying the beauty of nature: some people live in such an environment where the trees are chopped down or where an illegal dumping problem exists. Secondly, a work-out on a fresh clean air builds people up. Moreover, it helps to feel knocked out in the evening which is essential to get a proper quality of sleep at night. According to the recent researches, strengthening effect of the nature is proven by positive considerable changes in blood pressure, muscle endurance and overall immune system kicking in. Hence, nature is objectively only intense power that keeps us alive. Nevertheless, it is impossible to give all one’s free time to the nature due to the various unpleasant occurrences of bad weather conditions. To conclude, not only does the nature enhances physical health, but it also improves emotional state. What modern society need is reassessing relationships with the biological world – it will benefit us all indeed.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the time phrase Original: Over the recent years Suggested revision: In recent years Why it matters: This is the standard prepositional phrase for a recent period continuing to the present.
- 2. Use the definite article Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The sentence refers to the specific presence of nature in people's lives.
- 3. Add the article Original: in average citizen’s life Suggested revision: in the average citizen’s life Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs a determiner here.
- 4. Use the definite article Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The phrase refers to the particular effect of nature being discussed.
- 5. Correct the idiom Original: takes a lot out of people Suggested revision: helps people recharge Why it matters: Takes a lot out of people means exhausts them, which reverses the intended benefit.
- 6. Use natural verbs Original: makes everyone loosen and perk up Suggested revision: helps people relax and feel refreshed Why it matters: Loosen is not used this way for relaxation, and the revision preserves the intended positive effect.
- 7. Use a clear connector Original: Even more Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: Moreover clearly introduces an additional supporting point.
- 8. Remove the article Original: in the nature Suggested revision: in nature Why it matters: Nature takes no article when it means the natural world generally.
- 9. Use concise purpose Original: with a relaxing outcome Suggested revision: for relaxation Why it matters: The original phrase is an unnatural way to express the purpose of the activity.
- 10. Fix the collocation Original: around natural habitat Suggested revision: in a natural environment Why it matters: A person can be in a natural environment, while habitat normally describes where a species lives.
- 11. Use an adverb Original: mental Suggested revision: mentally Why it matters: The adverb mentally is needed to modify uplifting.
- 12. Fix the exercise phrase Original: a work-out on a fresh clean air Suggested revision: exercise in fresh, clean air Why it matters: Exercise is the appropriate uncountable noun, and activities take place in the air.
Suggested Rewrites
- Over the recent years In recent years
- a the
- in average citizen’s life in the average citizen’s life
- a the
- takes a lot out of people helps people recharge
- makes everyone loosen and perk up helps people relax and feel refreshed
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's clearest strength is its relevant explanation of mental and physical benefits gained from spending time in nature. However, it only indirectly addresses the claim that nature creates richness despite limited money or possessions, and frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors weaken clarity; the priority is to frame each main point around that central contrast and support it with accurate, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives relevant benefits of nature and a generally positive viewpoint, but it only partially engages with the claim about wealth, possessions, and money.
Connect each health or emotional benefit explicitly to why nature can make a person feel rich without material wealth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The mental and physical benefits follow a recognizable sequence, but the single-block presentation and mechanical linking weaken progression.
Use separate paragraphs for the central view, mental benefits, physical benefits, and the final opinion.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary about health and nature, but frequent inaccurate collocations sometimes distort the intended meaning.
Prefer familiar, precise combinations and check phrases such as 'takes a lot out of people' against their intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms is attempted, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, prepositions, and clause structure reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for one complete clause pattern, then correct articles and subject-verb agreement before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.