Women can do everything that men can, and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But there is a fact that their work is not appreciated as men's although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. So someone said, "A woman's place is in the home." Do you agree or disagree? What do you think? Give your opinion.
Sample Response
There is no doubt that women are contributing equally like men in the economic development of a country. Their rights are more realised now than they used to be in ancient times. Societies recognising efforts of men at work overworking woman is a common trend irrespective of their hard work and the sacrifice they make in their family and profession. Most people believe that they are more suited to home than at work. This essay will analyse the position of working women in society in the light of abilities, cultural norms and religious values.
Firstly, Men are better adapted genetically to perform physical work, such as operating heavy machinery, cargo loading, digging etc. Women in such domains are not suited due to their structure and nature. For instance, sports, where competitions are primarily categorised on the basis of gender. It is the structure of women that mark the boundaries of what men can do and women cannot. On the other hand, women in nursing, elementary education and customer care services are preferred over men. This is because of their abilities to be patient, devotion, care and pliability.
However, it has been argued that women are less esteemed in society due to their traditional roles at home. For instance in middle-east, where cultural and religious values demand women to stay back home and devote their time to raising children and fulfilling their household responsibilities.
To conclude, differences do exist and are largely due to nature. Women place in the house or at work is largely governed by culture, tradition and religious value and not by their abilities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the comparison Original: contributing equally like men Suggested revision: contributing as much as men Why it matters: Equality is expressed with the “as much as” comparative structure.
- 2. Use the correct verb Original: more realised now Suggested revision: better recognised now Why it matters: Rights are “recognised” socially or legally rather than “realised” in this context.
- 3. Use proportionate wording Original: in ancient times Suggested revision: in the past Why it matters: The broad historical comparison does not specifically concern ancient societies.
- 4. Complete the comparison Original: more suited to home Suggested revision: more suited to life at home Why it matters: The phrase needs a noun after “to” to contrast naturally with working life.
- 5. Use a precise frame Original: in the light of abilities Suggested revision: in terms of ability Why it matters: “In terms of” is the natural expression for the aspect being analysed.
- 6. Correct the capitalisation Original: Men Suggested revision: men Why it matters: The common noun should not be capitalised after the introductory adverb.
- 7. Place the adverb naturally Original: better adapted genetically Suggested revision: genetically better adapted Why it matters: The adverb naturally precedes the comparative adjective phrase it modifies.
- 8. Complete the formal list Original: cargo loading, digging etc. Suggested revision: loading cargo and digging. Why it matters: The revision uses parallel gerunds and removes the informal “etc.”
- 9. Correct the causal structure Original: not suited due to Suggested revision: unsuited because of Why it matters: “Because of” is the correct causal phrase before a noun.
- 10. Use specific terminology Original: their structure and nature Suggested revision: their physical characteristics Why it matters: The revision identifies the claimed physical basis without the vague word “nature.”
- 11. Match the singular subject Original: the structure of women that mark Suggested revision: women’s physical structure that marks Why it matters: The singular head noun “structure” requires the verb “marks.”
- 12. Use the contrastive conjunction Original: and Suggested revision: but Why it matters: “But” correctly marks the contrast between the two claimed abilities.
Suggested Rewrites
- contributing equally like men contributing as much as men
- more realised now better recognised now
- in ancient times in the past
- more suited to home more suited to life at home
- in the light of abilities in terms of ability
- Men men
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers a recognisable structure and discusses several relevant influences on women’s roles, but its own position on whether women belong in the home remains insufficiently explicit and the supporting points are only partly developed. Frequent grammatical and collocational problems also reduce precision, though the main meaning is generally recoverable. State a direct agreement or disagreement, then build each reason with clearer explanation and accurate supporting examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses gender roles through ability and culture, but its own agreement or disagreement remains unclear and development is limited.
State a direct position and ensure every body point clearly supports that position with explanation and evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The broad paragraph sequence is recognisable, although progression is weakened by loosely connected claims and an underdeveloped third paragraph.
Give each body paragraph one clear controlling idea and develop it fully before moving to the next point.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately, but frequent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices reduce clarity and precision.
Use more natural combinations for equality, social value, physical ability, and cultural expectations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors with agreement, articles, possessives, fragments, and parallel structure are noticeable.
Prioritise complete sentence construction and systematically check subject-verb agreement and noun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Women can do everything that men can, and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But there is a fact that their work is not appreciated as men's although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. So someone said, "A woman's place is in the home." Do you agree or disagree? What do you think? Give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.