Many people try to achieve a work-life balance but fail. Why is this happening? What can be done to help people overcome this problem?
Sample Response
Many people strive to achieve a work-life balance, but often find themselves failing despite their best efforts. This is not surprising, as balancing work and life commitments can be extremely difficult due to both having their unique stressors.
One of the major reasons why so many people struggle to achieve harmony between their personal and professional lives is that now it is easier than ever for people to stay connected outside of regular work hours. This has led to an expectation that employees should always be available, and they risk being seen as unreliable or uncommitted if they are not. A knock-on effect of longer working hours is that little time is left for leisure activities such as socialising or engaging in hobbies or sports, which help reduce stress levels and improve overall well-being. This type of pressure and lack of free time can lead to feelings of burnout, with no respite from life’s pressures, resulting in chronic fatigue and diminished motivation over time.
Helping those struggling to find a suitable work-life balance will require joint efforts of managers and employees. Workers, for instance, need to recognise the importance of taking regular breaks throughout the day and getting enough sleep each night, while employers should consider being more flexible when it comes to allowing staff to work remotely and offering paid vacation days. This will give employees space, both mentally and physically, enabling them to better manage their commitments without overextending themselves.
In conclusion, achieving a successful work-life balance is something that many cannot quite reach due to external pressures from employers and a lack of downtime. However, these issues can be overcome, if we create realistic boundaries between our professional lives and personal goals, and make conscious decisions about how we want to spend our time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Tighten opening phrase Original: strive to achieve a work-life balance, but often find themselves failing Suggested revision: strive for a work-life balance but often fail to achieve it Why it matters: The revision avoids the vague expression “find themselves failing” while preserving the claim.
- 2. Improve adverb position Original: that now it is easier Suggested revision: that it is now easier Why it matters: Placing “now” after the subject and verb gives the clause a more natural order.
- 3. Use formal transition Original: A knock-on effect Suggested revision: A further consequence Why it matters: This transition states the cause-and-effect relationship more directly in an academic register.
- 4. Refine tense and preposition Original: will require joint efforts of Suggested revision: requires joint efforts from Why it matters: The present tense and “from” fit an ongoing need involving both groups.
- 5. Reduce wordiness Original: consider being more flexible when it comes to allowing Suggested revision: offer greater flexibility by allowing Why it matters: The revision expresses the same proposal more concisely.
- 6. Clarify abstract phrase Original: space, both mentally and physically Suggested revision: both mental and physical space Why it matters: The revised noun phrase makes the two kinds of space explicit.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: achieving a successful work-life balance Suggested revision: achieving a work-life balance Why it matters: A balance that is achieved is already successful, so the adjective is unnecessary.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: This is not surprising, as balancing work and life commitments can be extremely difficult due to both having their unique stressors. Suggested revision: This is not surprising, as both work and personal commitments bring unique stressors that make them difficult to balance. Why it matters: The rewrite gives “both” clear parallel referents and removes the awkward “due to” construction.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: This type of pressure and lack of free time can lead to feelings of burnout, with no respite from life’s pressures, resulting in chronic fatigue and diminished motivation over time. Suggested revision: This pressure and lack of free time can cause burnout because employees have no respite from life’s pressures, leading over time to chronic fatigue and diminished motivation. Why it matters: The rewrite clarifies who lacks respite and what produces the final effects.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: However, these issues can be overcome, if we create realistic boundaries between our professional lives and personal goals, and make conscious decisions about how we want to spend our time. Suggested revision: However, these issues can be overcome if people create realistic boundaries between their professional and personal lives and make conscious decisions about how they want to spend their time. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the unnecessary comma, keeps the comparison parallel, and maintains a consistent third-person perspective.
Suggested Rewrites
- strive to achieve a work-life balance, but often find themselves failing strive for a work-life balance but often fail to achieve it
- that now it is easier that it is now easier
- A knock-on effect A further consequence
- will require joint efforts of requires joint efforts from
- consider being more flexible when it comes to allowing offer greater flexibility by allowing
- space, both mentally and physically both mental and physical space
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly addresses both causes and solutions, developing its central explanation with clear logical links and confident, precise language. Its main limitation is that the proposed remedies could be connected more explicitly to the always-available work culture identified earlier, and a few phrases are slightly awkward. Strengthen the solution paragraph by explaining exactly how each measure changes expectations and protects personal time.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly, with the cause developed through its consequences and a relevant set of shared solutions proposed.
Explain more explicitly how each proposed measure counters the expectation of constant availability identified as the main cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into purposeful paragraphs and moves smoothly from cause to effects, solutions, and conclusion.
Make the transition from the diagnosed workplace pressure to the solution paragraph even tighter by explicitly signalling that connection.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural, with effective expressions for workplace pressure, exhaustion, and personal well-being.
Refine the few less natural phrases, particularly the wording about both commitments having unique stressors and giving employees physical space.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only occasional minor awkwardness or punctuation slips.
Polish the few remaining details, including unnecessary commas and awkward participial constructions, while preserving the current syntactic variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people try to achieve a work-life balance but fail. Why is this happening? What can be done to help people overcome this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.