Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem?
Sample Response
Nowadays, most people fail to achieve the Ideal work life balance. This essay will discuss some effects and also suggests ways to address this problem
This issue is often associated with some unwanted consequences. Firstly, having an unhealthy work life balance can have a negative effect on people’s health since these individuals tend to sacrifice their daily physical activities and recreational activities to work. This in the long term will lead to an increased level of stress and stress-related illness. Secondly, work-life imbalance can also give rise to growing problems with parenting. The materialistic society of today drives many parents to becoming workaholics, which lead them to spending less time taking care of their children. Without adequate supervision from parents, children can easily go on the wrong track.
Therefore, some practical solutions are suggested to mitigate the problem. One viable step is that people need to consider and see what makes them happy and then set priorities in life. When they come home from work, they must learn to switch the office button off. By doing so, they will have more time to enjoy leisure activities and refresh themselves. Furthermore, people should plan a flexible schedule for their life. For example, some days, they might focus more on work, while others might have more time and energy to pursue their hobbies or relax with their loved ones. This will enable them to enjoy every part of their life.
In conclusion, work life imbalance can lead to some harmful impacts on people’s health and family, and some steps should be taken into account to mitigate this problem.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the subject Original: suggests Suggested revision: suggest Why it matters: The coordinated verb must agree with the subject This essay.
- 2. Add final punctuation Original: ways to address this problem Suggested revision: ways to address this problem. Why it matters: The introductory sentence needs a full stop at the end.
- 3. Avoid repetition Original: daily physical activities and recreational activities Suggested revision: daily exercise and recreation Why it matters: The revision removes repeated wording while preserving both types of activity.
- 4. Place linker clearly Original: This in the long term Suggested revision: In the long term, this Why it matters: Moving and punctuating the time phrase makes the relationship between the sentences clear.
- 5. Use natural number Original: an increased level of stress and stress-related illness Suggested revision: increased stress and stress-related illnesses Why it matters: Stress is naturally expressed without level here, while illnesses should be plural for the general claim.
- 6. Correct verb pattern Original: becoming Suggested revision: become Why it matters: Drive someone to takes the base form of the verb in this structure.
- 7. Repair clause structure Original: which lead them to spending Suggested revision: leading them to spend Why it matters: The participle clause avoids the unclear relative-clause agreement and uses the correct verb pattern.
- 8. Fix awkward metaphor Original: switch the office button off Suggested revision: mentally switch off from work Why it matters: This is the natural expression for stopping work-related thoughts at home.
- 9. Clarify the contrast Original: while others might have more time Suggested revision: while on other days they might have more time Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the comparison is between different days, not different people.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: impacts Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: Harmful effects is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 11. Fix mixed expression Original: steps should be taken into account Suggested revision: steps should be taken Why it matters: Take steps and take something into account are separate expressions and should not be combined.
- 12. Fix noun phrase Original: achieve the Ideal work life balance Suggested revision: achieve an ideal work-life balance Why it matters: The singular countable phrase needs an article, standard capitalization, and hyphenation.
Suggested Rewrites
- suggests suggest
- ways to address this problem ways to address this problem.
- daily physical activities and recreational activities daily exercise and recreation
- This in the long term In the long term, this
- an increased level of stress and stress-related illness increased stress and stress-related illnesses
- becoming become
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay answers both parts directly, presenting relevant consequences and practical personal solutions in a clear problem-solution structure. Its main limitation is that several ideas remain fairly general and some grammatical and collocational errors weaken otherwise effective expression. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two solutions more precisely by explaining how they could be implemented and why they would address the identified problems.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both problems and solutions are relevant and clearly explained, though some supporting development remains general.
Extend the strongest solution with a more specific implementation example and a clear link to the problem it resolves.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall progression, effective paragraphing, and generally well-managed cohesive devices.
Make links within paragraphs more precise so that examples and consequences follow even more explicitly from each main claim.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible vocabulary expresses the central ideas well, despite occasional awkward or inaccurate collocations.
Use more idiomatic phrasing for expressions such as switch the office button off and steps taken into account.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring agreement and verb-form errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and verb complements, especially forms such as suggests, drives parents to become, and leads them to spend.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.