The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, in our competitive world, to succeed, knowledge from school and university is not enough. Therefore, the student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get experience and skills before going high. There are two following reasons to prove for my opinion. I call the group of people who study from school to university is group A and the other group is group B. Firstly, at school and university, what group A gain is almost theory, theory and theory. Of course, theory is very neccessary, however, you can’t do everything with theory. You must have praticeable experience. This is what group A lack very much. Although in the third of forth year at university, group A can be apprentices in some companies, to help them approach their future jobs, they aren’t trained well because of short time. And the real job is still very strange with them. After graduating, without experience, group A can’t accomplish their work perfectly. On the other hand, it take them time and money to keep up with other experienced ones and may be scorned. Therefore, group A can contribute less than group B who have the most two important things: skills and experience.
Secondly, as group A is contribute less, they surely get less benefit. Moreover, many companies which employ people in group A have to train them from the back-ground. These companies take this cost from group A’s salary to get rid of the fact that their employees may leave after being trained to other companies. So, less benefit is unavoidable and certain, Whereas group B are more loyal and effective workers. They also have useful experience and skills. Besides, their education is the same as or even higher than group A. As the result, group B get more benefit absolutely.
In conclusion, I think student should go to travel or job before going high. Therefore, they can’t only have basic knowledge but also skills and experience which are useful for them to get a good job and a brilliant future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number agreement Original: the student who study Suggested revision: students who study Why it matters: The plural subject “students” requires the plural verb “study.”
- 2. Use natural comparison Original: get benefit less Suggested revision: receive fewer benefits Why it matters: “Receive fewer benefits” is the natural comparative expression for countable advantages.
- 3. Correct comparison form Original: contribute less too, than Suggested revision: also contribute less than Why it matters: The adverb and comparison marker need this word order, without a comma before “than.”
- 4. Use plural noun Original: those of student Suggested revision: students Why it matters: The comparison refers directly to multiple students, so “those of student” is ungrammatical.
- 5. Clarify education stage Original: experience and skills before going high Suggested revision: experience and skills before entering higher education Why it matters: “Going high” does not clearly express entering university or higher education.
- 6. Correct adjective order Original: two following reasons Suggested revision: following two reasons Why it matters: The ordering expression should precede the number in this phrase.
- 7. Use correct collocation Original: prove for my opinion Suggested revision: support my opinion Why it matters: Reasons support an opinion rather than “prove for” it.
- 8. Fix subject agreement Original: gain Suggested revision: gains Why it matters: The singular collective label takes the third-person singular verb “gains” here.
- 9. Correct spelling Original: neccessary Suggested revision: necessary Why it matters: “Necessary” has one “c” and two “s” letters.
- 10. Use correct adjective Original: praticeable Suggested revision: practical Why it matters: “Practical” is the correctly spelled and idiomatic adjective for experience.
- 11. Fix subject agreement Original: lack Suggested revision: lacks Why it matters: The singular collective label requires the verb form “lacks.”
- 12. Correct conjunction and spelling Original: third of forth year Suggested revision: third or fourth year Why it matters: The alternatives require “or,” and the ordinal is spelled “fourth.”
Suggested Rewrites
- the student who study students who study
- get benefit less receive fewer benefits
- contribute less too, than also contribute less than
- those of student students
- experience and skills before going high experience and skills before entering higher education
- two following reasons following two reasons
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear agreement position and develops two recognizable reasons concerning workplace contribution and financial reward. Its main limitation is the frequent grammatical and lexical inaccuracy, which makes several claims awkward or imprecise despite generally understandable meaning. The highest priority is to improve sentence control—especially agreement, articles, clause structure, and word forms—while supporting broad claims with more realistic, specific examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and the two main reasons are extended, although several supporting claims are overgeneralized or insufficiently convincing.
Support each reason with a specific, realistic example and qualify claims about salary, loyalty, and educational background.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear overall progression and a logical two-reason structure, but the first body paragraph is overloaded and linking is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate.
Divide long idea chains into focused paragraphs and use cohesive devices only where the logical relationship is precise.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a useful range of education and employment vocabulary, but frequent spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision.
Check high-frequency collocations and word forms, particularly expressions for practical experience, entering university, salaries, and employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, clause construction, and punctuation limit accuracy.
Build consistently accurate main clauses first, checking every subject and verb, before combining ideas into longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.