Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Work-life balance is a concept that emphasises both the professional and personal life and in my opinion, personal interests are as much important as the works are. I believe that we should focus both on our career and hobbies to maintain a balance in our life and to lead a happy and meaningful life. In regards to work or career, I think that it defines who we are and how we contribute to the society we live in. Perfectly executing our job responsibilities would ensure a steady career growth and a contentment in our life. It is quite reasonable that when we find our works interesting, we can excel in our performance as we work passionately. Undeniably, devotion on our jobs would bring out the best in us and let us reinvent our hidden potentials. To cite an example, many scientists, throughout the history, have completely devoted themselves to their work and have brought marvellous invention for the rest of the humanity. Thus to a certain group of people, work is far more important than any other thing in life. In contrast, another group of people find their hobbies and leisure activities more interesting and focus more on these activities than their career and work. I believe, to a certain extent, they are prudent to emphasise more on things they feel attracted to as we have got only one life to live and being happy and contented is the mantra of life. However, their priority in life often lead to negligence in professional life and as a consequence, they suffer from economic disaster in later life. To conclude, we are the ultimate architect of our life and how we lead our life would define our future. An intelligent person would focus both on work and hobby as he knows the work-life balance is the key to a joyful and prosperous life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make both items parallel Original: the professional and personal life Suggested revision: professional and personal aspects of life Why it matters: The replacement gives both coordinated categories a clear shared head noun.
- 2. Fix the equality structure Original: as much important as Suggested revision: as important as Why it matters: The standard equality pattern is as plus adjective plus as without much.
- 3. Use uncountable work Original: the works are Suggested revision: work is Why it matters: Work is uncountable when referring generally to employment or professional activity.
- 4. Place both correctly Original: focus both on our career and hobbies Suggested revision: focus on both our careers and our hobbies Why it matters: Both should introduce the two parallel objects of focus on.
- 5. Remove the extra article Original: a balance in our life Suggested revision: balance in our lives Why it matters: Maintain balance does not need an article, and the plural lives agrees with our.
- 6. Use the standard phrase Original: In regards to Suggested revision: With regard to Why it matters: With regard to is the standard formal expression in this context.
- 7. Remove the generic article Original: contribute to the society Suggested revision: contribute to society Why it matters: Society takes no article when it refers generally to the social community.
- 8. Remove the article Original: a steady career growth Suggested revision: steady career growth Why it matters: Career growth is an uncountable process and does not take a here.
- 9. Use uncountable contentment Original: a contentment in our life Suggested revision: contentment in our lives Why it matters: Contentment is uncountable, and lives should agree with the plural possessive our.
- 10. Use singular work Original: works Suggested revision: work Why it matters: Work is uncountable when it means a person's general employment.
- 11. Fix the performance collocation Original: excel in our performance Suggested revision: perform exceptionally well Why it matters: Perform well is the natural way to describe strong job performance.
- 12. Use devotion with to Original: on Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The noun devotion takes the preposition to.
Suggested Rewrites
- the professional and personal life professional and personal aspects of life
- as much important as as important as
- the works are work is
- focus both on our career and hobbies focus on both our careers and our hobbies
- a balance in our life balance in our lives
- In regards to With regard to
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay gives both attitudes fair attention and maintains a clear, balanced position that work and leisure should support each other. Its strongest development is the explanation of professional commitment, while the leisure side relies more on broad claims and the response is presented without paragraph breaks; recurring collocation and agreement errors also reduce polish. Develop the second view with a concrete example, separate the argument into paragraphs and edit phrases such as "as important as" and "devotion to work."
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both attitudes are addressed and a clear balanced opinion is maintained, though the leisure-focused view is supported less fully than the work-focused view.
Add a specific example showing how serious engagement with hobbies can improve well-being without undermining professional responsibilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from position to the two attitudes and conclusion, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens its visible structure.
Use distinct paragraphs for the introduction, work-centred attitude, leisure-centred attitude and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range for work, fulfilment and leisure, but several ambitious collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Use standard forms such as "work," "devotion to one's job," "develop hidden potential" and "financial difficulty" rather than exaggerated alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex structures conveys meaning clearly, but agreement, article, comparative and preposition errors recur throughout.
Proofread patterns such as "as important as," "focus on both," "devotion to" and plural agreement in "their priorities lead."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are more enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interests than their jobs. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.