With the widespread use of the internet, more people choose to work or study from home. Is this a positive or negative trend?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, there is a popular tendency for many employeesstuff and students to work or study at home which is a main result of the common usage of internet. However, I think the disadvantages of this choice outweigh the advantagesoverweigh advantages.
On the one hand, optimistsoptimism think this new methodmethord of working creates a flexible timetable and relaxing surroundingscreate a flexible timetable and relaxing surrounding for people to finish their job. For example, for career,if working at home, there is no need for people who live in remote area to wake up early to catch the bus or subway to the company even without breakfast. What they should do is just to participate in online meetingstake in the online meeting on time and arrange their dailydialy plan to finish work in time whenever they would like to do them.
Whereas , this kind of working patternthese kind of form has an obviousabvious problem on efficiency that many people cannot make an appropriate timetable and follow it strictlystricktly. Especially for students who do not have enough self-controlling ability, this excessiveover freedom may lead to their falling intolead to them fall into online games and get bad grades in future exam. Moreover relaxing environment make people lose their passion on work which means they can hardly get a perfect working statestatues.
On the other hand , the negative impactpassive influence also reflect on other places such as personal health and teamwork obstacles. It is undeniable that keeping a regular biological clockbiothethesm and healthy diet makes us stay healthymake us stay in healthy. People who workworking online may have a fuzzy sleep time and bad diet which significantly influence their health. Meanwhile ,working or studying at home may also give them problems in keeping in touch with their team membersin touching with their team member because of various timetable and habitshabbit in contrast with in company and classic school.
In conclusion, this new trend brings both convenience and difficulties at the same timethis new trend give us many facility and difficulty in one time. As for me, these negative influence may overweigh the advantages. This way may not be suitable for any situations.
Why this response received Band 5.5
文章清晰地表达了“居家办公与学习弊大于利”的立场,并分别从灵活性与工作效率、健康以及团队协作等角度进行了讨论。然而,文章中拼写和词汇使用错误较为频繁,语法结构也存在多处不准确之处。建议重点加强基础拼写与语法准确性,同时优化段落衔接词的使用,以提升整体逻辑流畅度。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务回应
文章完整回答了题目问题,并在开头与结尾明确提出了明确的个人立场。
尝试对提炼出的核心论点进行更深入的因果论证,使例证与论点结合得更加紧密。
连贯与衔接
文章逻辑推进大致清晰,分段处理基本合理,但部分连接词的使用略显机械或不规范。
注意段落首句衔接词的规范用法,避免单独使用“Whereas”作为段落开头的过渡。
词汇资源
文章能够运用与主题相关的词汇,但拼写错误较多且存在用词不当的情况。
加强对常见高频词汇拼写和词性的积累,写完后仔细检查以减少低级拼写失误。
语法多样性与准确性
文章尝试使用了多种句式结构,但语法错误频率较高,影响了语言表达的准确性。
练习复杂的复合句与定语从句结构,重点纠正主谓一致、分词短语及非谓语动词的语法错误。