Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In recent years the vast expansion of information and communications technology has made teleworking much more practical. Although in many cases office workers could be made geographically independent by using modems, faxes and cell phones, few companies or employees take full advantage of this possibility.
There are a number of strong arguments in favor of allowing workers to work from home. Firstly costs for employers would be reduced because businesses would require less office space, which is often situated in the center of large cities. Secondly, worker’s lives would be improved in a variety of ways. For example, they would not need to travel to get to work, which would give them more free time. Also, they could combine their work with their family life, which is a major advantage if they are parents of young children or they have old people to look aft er. On the other hand, traveling to a centralized workplace also has a number of points in its favor. The first is that many employees would miss the social aspect of work such as seeing colleagues and meeting customers. A further point is that employers would need to be able to trust their workers to work at a high standard and finish their work on time, since supervising teleworkers is even more complicated than supervising workers in the same office.
Finally, working from home might inhibit teamwork and creative work and so perhaps so only really suitable for people doing routine office work.
In conclusion, I believe that while many workers welcome the opportunity to go out to work, others would find the chance to work from home very convenient. Where possible, I think workers should be offered the choice, but not forced to work from home unless they wish to.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard term Original: communications Suggested revision: communication Why it matters: The singular modifier is the more standard form of this technical term.
- 2. Clarify work arrangement Original: made geographically independent Suggested revision: enabled to work independently of location Why it matters: This wording states the intended effect of technology more naturally.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: Firstly costs Suggested revision: Firstly, costs Why it matters: An introductory sequencing adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 4. Fix plural possessive Original: worker’s lives Suggested revision: workers’ lives Why it matters: The plural possessive is needed because the statement concerns multiple workers.
- 5. Use respectful wording Original: old people Suggested revision: older relatives Why it matters: This phrase is more precise and appropriate in the family context.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: traveling to a centralized workplace Suggested revision: commuting to a central workplace Why it matters: This wording expresses the journey to work more directly and naturally.
- 7. Use concise noun Original: points in its favor Suggested revision: advantages Why it matters: A single precise noun makes the contrast more direct.
- 8. Fix collocation Original: at Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The standard collocation uses the preposition “to.”
- 9. Restore verb structure Original: and so perhaps so only really suitable Suggested revision: and is therefore perhaps only really suitable Why it matters: The revision supplies the missing verb and removes the duplicated connector.
- 10. Separate the contrast Suggested revision: Begin a new paragraph at “On the other hand” so the advantages and disadvantages form distinct stages of the discussion. Why it matters: Separating the opposing view would make the argument’s progression easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- communications communication
- made geographically independent enabled to work independently of location
- Firstly costs Firstly, costs
- worker’s lives workers’ lives
- old people older relatives
- traveling to a centralized workplace commuting to a central workplace
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and supports both the benefits and limitations of home working with relevant, well-explained points. Its main weakness is organization: opposing arguments are crowded into one long paragraph, while the teamwork point is isolated and only briefly developed. Reorganizing the discussion into focused paragraphs and extending the final limitation with a specific explanation would make the argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposition fully through a qualified position and relevant discussion of benefits and drawbacks.
Develop the teamwork limitation beyond a brief assertion so that every main point is equally persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and cohesive devices are generally effective, although paragraph boundaries do not consistently reflect shifts in argument.
Separate the benefits and drawbacks into focused paragraphs and integrate the isolated teamwork sentence into the relevant discussion.
Lexical Resource
A flexible and precise range, including terms such as geographically independent and inhibit teamwork, conveys the argument effectively.
Refine occasional awkward or imprecise phrasing to make the already strong vocabulary sound consistently natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, despite several localized agreement, possessive, and sentence-construction errors.
Proofread complex sentences for omitted words and duplicated connectors, particularly in the sentence about teamwork and creative work.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.