More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
With the advent of the computer and the widespread use of the internet, people have changed the way they perform everyday tasks. An increasing number of corporations believe in letting employees work full-time or part-time from home and thousands of people are freelancingare doing freelancing to earn a livingearn their livings. The following essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this changethe pros and cons sides over this change.
A recent poll shows that people lose self-control and discipline easily while they perform professional work via telecommuting. Because people are given more freedoms to deal with the tasks and without a strict deadline, they often mixed their professional attitude with their personal life. They often lie to their employers and thus perform poorly.
On the contrary, imagine that there is no one looking over your shoulder and enforcing strict hours and because of that you may feel tempted to work endlessly. That can strongly affect how effectively you workinfluence your working effectively. Therefore, other issues emergethere are other issues emerged that employees can't get along well with others since everyone is just concentratingeveryone just concentrating on their missions and employees can easily be overlookedit's easy to be overlooked.
Nevertheless, other people propose that the argument above is merely a one-sided story, by working at home you save on many hidden costs associated with going to work. These include costs of commuting, purchasing a carcar purchasing, fuel costs, and parking feesspots Deleteas well. Moreover, flexible time and comfortable workplace provides employees more inspiration and creativitymore inspirations and creatively, since thinking outside the boxthinking out of the box is essential for those who work in advertising companies, IT firms and in other fields of workworks that require creativity. Without stressthe stresses and strict monitoring from the office, working independently in their own preferred environment at their own pace, professionals are often a lot happier and a lot more productive.
In conclusion, it depends on companies' current circumstancescompanies current situations to consider whether to allow employees to workallow employees work from home or not. InFor my view, as a designer, I prefer to work from home since it gives me more inspirationinspirations and freedom.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its broad treatment of remote work, covering discipline, overwork, isolation, commuting costs, flexibility, creativity, and productivity. Its main limitation is that the final position is based mainly on the writer’s personal preference as a designer, without clearly weighing which effects make the development positive overall. The highest priority is to establish a consistent evaluative position and organise the overlapping disadvantages into a clearer argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant advantages and disadvantages are developed and a preference is stated, but the overall judgement remains conditional and insufficiently weighed.
Explain why the benefits outweigh the risks for employees or companies generally, while identifying the conditions needed for remote work to succeed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a broad disadvantages–advantages sequence, but one contrast marker introduces another drawback and the middle paragraphs overlap in focus.
Combine discipline, overwork, and isolation in one coherent disadvantages paragraph, then contrast it with a separate benefits paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary covers a useful range of remote-work issues, but frequent word-form and collocational errors weaken naturalness and accuracy.
Use standard expressions such as ‘earn a living’, ‘work-life boundaries’, ‘work effectiveness’, ‘inspiration and creativity’, and ‘fields of work’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but recurring errors in tense, agreement, articles, clause structure, and non-finite forms reduce control.
Rewrite long sentences as complete clauses and check forms such as ‘employees mix’, ‘issues emerge’, ‘everyone concentrates’, and ‘companies’ circumstances’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.