In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples
Sample Response
In the past,fathers used to go outfather was used to go out and earn money to support the family whereas mothersmother usually stayed at home and tooktaking care of the children.NowadaysNow-a-days,it is the norm for both parentsboth of them to work because that’s how they can provide their children with luxuriesfacilitate their children with all the facilities such as video gamessuch as,video games,expensive mobiles,foreign holidays and many more luxuries.On the other hand,some people argue that when their parents are absentin the absence of the parents,especially their motherespecially mother,children might feel lonely; therefore,they might feel alone hence they deserve their parents’ attentionparent’s attention and support more than anything elsesupport than anything else.Moreover,children need help within their homework and exam revision.Besides,it is more important to understand the children's needsneeds for the children in terms of emotional supportaffection,and this is only possibleit could be only possible if parents give time to their children rather than providing them with every facilityrather providing with them all the facilities. Furthermore,females used to be less educated in the past hence they never concentrate on working after marriage and always kept themselves busy with the children and domestic chores,but today,every single female wants to work and focus on her career to achieve certain goals.However,it does not mean that working negatively affectsdoes not mean it negatively affects their children.Infact,working parents can be more well-mannered,organised and disciplined that’s how they can better provide upbringing to their children. In conclusion,although it has become a trend for both the parents to work these days,but resultantly,time issues and negligence somehow can not be ignored.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies both perspectives and offers several relevant points about material benefits, emotional support, and parental influence. However, the writer's own position remains only partly defined, ideas are unevenly developed, and the single dense paragraph weakens progression; frequent grammatical and collocational errors also reduce fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the two views and a clear personal judgment into separate, fully developed paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed, but the personal opinion is only implicit and several points remain asserted rather than explained.
State a clear position in the introduction and conclusion, then support each view with a developed reason or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main line of discussion is discernible, but the single-paragraph structure and mechanical linking make progression difficult to follow.
Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph organised around one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some topic-relevant range, though awkward collocations, repetition, and word-form choices frequently reduce precision.
Replace unnatural phrases with standard combinations such as provide emotional support and give children a good upbringing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in clauses, articles, agreement, punctuation, and spacing weaken control.
Practise constructing and punctuating shorter complete sentences before combining them into accurately controlled complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.