There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In this day and age, with cheaper and more accessible computer technology, many people are opting to work and study from home. In my opinion, this is a positive development due to several reasons.
To begin with, there are a huge number of benefits for both workers and students choosing this method of work and study. Firstly, people do not need to spend time travelling to school or their workplace as they can now easily access the internet at home to complete their work. As a result, people can not only save time but also minimize the risks and costs of using transport on a daily basis to commute. On top of that, working from home gives people a chance to manage their work and leisure time more effectively. For instance, while people are required to sit in front of a computer and crunch numbers every day from nine to five, people who work from home can easily manage their schedule better to suit their needs in order to complete their work in a better state of mind.
In addition to benefits that remote work and study brings to individuals, this trend also brings about positive outcomes for schools and businesses. In fact, schools and businesses could save a lot of money that would otherwise be allocated to the construction and maintenance of buildings and facilities. Instead, that money could be invested in enhancing other things, such as updating study programs, or other facilities that allow staff and students to work more effectively, and help to build up the reputation of those institutes as well.
In conclusion, I hold a firm belief that working and studying from home is an advantageous trend as it generates many merits for all sides involved.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural reason phrase Original: due to several reasons Suggested revision: for several reasons Why it matters: This is the more natural prepositional phrase for introducing reasons.
- 2. Formal quantity phrase Original: huge Suggested revision: large Why it matters: A large number is more appropriate than huge in formal academic writing.
- 3. Clarify relative clause Original: students choosing Suggested revision: students who choose Why it matters: A relative clause clearly identifies the people who make this choice.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: method of work and study Suggested revision: way of working and studying Why it matters: This phrasing is more idiomatic for describing remote work and study.
- 5. Remove wordiness Original: risks and costs of using transport on a daily basis to commute Suggested revision: risks and costs of commuting daily Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same idea more directly.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: manage their work and leisure time Suggested revision: balance work and leisure Why it matters: Balance is a more precise verb for managing time between these two areas.
- 7. Use precise wording Original: things Suggested revision: areas Why it matters: Areas is more precise for referring to institutional spending priorities.
- 8. Restore parallel structure Original: updating study programs, or other facilities Suggested revision: updating study programs or upgrading facilities Why it matters: Both alternatives should use parallel gerund forms after such as.
- 9. Choose accurate noun Original: institutes Suggested revision: institutions Why it matters: Institutions more naturally refers collectively to schools and businesses here.
- 10. Improve collocation Original: generates many merits Suggested revision: brings many benefits Why it matters: Bring benefits is the standard collocation for describing positive outcomes.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, while people are required to sit in front of a computer and crunch numbers every day from nine to five, people who work from home can easily manage their schedule better to suit their needs in order to complete their work in a better state of mind. Suggested revision: For instance, people who work from home can adjust their schedules more easily than those who must work at a computer from nine to five, allowing them to complete their tasks in a better state of mind. Why it matters: The rewrite makes the comparison explicit and removes the unclear reference to people.
Suggested Rewrites
- due to several reasons for several reasons
- huge large
- students choosing students who choose
- method of work and study way of working and studying
- risks and costs of using transport on a daily basis to commute risks and costs of commuting daily
- manage their work and leisure time balance work and leisure
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear positive position and develops a sensible range of benefits for individuals and institutions through an easy-to-follow structure. Its main limitation is that some support remains general or logically imprecise, while several awkward collocations reduce linguistic naturalness. The highest priority is to develop each benefit with a more specific, convincingly explained consequence and express it in more precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported with relevant benefits for individuals, schools, and businesses, though some explanations remain broad or weakly illustrated.
Develop each main benefit through a specific example and a clearer explanation of exactly how it produces the claimed positive outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into purposeful paragraphs, and ideas progress clearly despite some formulaic linking and repetition.
Use referencing and varied transitions to connect ideas more naturally and reduce repeated nouns such as people, schools, and businesses.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with effective items such as commute, allocated, and maintenance, but several collocations sound unnatural.
Replace vague or awkward combinations such as enhancing other things and generates many merits with precise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally secure control, although occasional agreement and sentence-construction errors remain.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and parallel structure, especially around long relative clauses and coordinated phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.