In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Some people argue that adequate communication between managers and subordinate employees is the most vital to achieving success in an organization. Nevertheless, there are some other factors in an organization’s triumph that may be more important. This essay will discuss both sides of my opinion.
Leaders manage to make the direction of an organization and employees implement those. Consequently, it is essential that communication must be transmitted effectively to the workers. If the workers misunderstand some parts, there will be a result in a minor discrepancy, but a serious setback for the organization. Effective communication and implementation of decisions will accomplish the organization running as the managers desire.
There are many other factors that contribute to a company’s success that could be considered more important than effective communication. For instance, the capabilities of managers themselves contribute significantly to executing great things. It does not matter if a worker can attain efficient proficiency if the policy created by the manager is useless or detrimental to the organization’s achievements. Another factor is the trustworthiness and availability of good employees. A company could have good leaders, but if there is no skilled and reliable labor available to them, progress will be difficult to attain. In my opinion, both of these factors are more important than communication between managers and workers themselves.
Communication between managers and workers is a key point in an organization’s success. However, to communicate effectively, it needs competent managers and a reliable, skilled workforce.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Choose a stronger adjective Original: adequate Suggested revision: effective Why it matters: “Effective” better describes communication that contributes to organizational success.
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: subordinate employees Suggested revision: employees Why it matters: “Employees” already identifies workers under an employer’s authority.
- 3. Complete the comparison Original: is the most vital to achieving success Suggested revision: is the most vital factor in achieving success Why it matters: The superlative adjective needs a noun, and “factor in achieving” forms the correct construction.
- 4. Use a natural collocation Original: triumph Suggested revision: success Why it matters: “Organizational success” is the natural expression for the intended business outcome.
- 5. Avoid double obligation Original: it is essential that communication must be transmitted Suggested revision: it is essential for decisions to be communicated Why it matters: “Essential” and “must” duplicate obligation, while “decisions” states what workers need to receive.
- 6. Fix the verb pattern Original: will accomplish the organization running Suggested revision: will enable the organization to operate Why it matters: “Enable” correctly takes an object followed by a to-infinitive.
- 7. Use business-appropriate wording Original: as the managers desire Suggested revision: as managers intend Why it matters: “Intend” more precisely describes the planned implementation of managerial decisions.
- 8. Make the phrase concise Original: the capabilities of managers themselves Suggested revision: managers’ capabilities Why it matters: The possessive form expresses the same relationship more directly.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: executing great things Suggested revision: achieving strong results Why it matters: The original phrase is vague and does not form a natural business collocation.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: attain efficient proficiency Suggested revision: perform efficiently Why it matters: “Attain proficiency” and “perform efficiently” are valid patterns, but the original blends them incorrectly.
- 11. Use a natural verb Original: created Suggested revision: developed Why it matters: Policies are more naturally described as being “developed” in this context.
- 12. Name the outcome clearly Original: achievements Suggested revision: success Why it matters: “Success” is the clearer term for the company’s overall performance.
Suggested Rewrites
- adequate effective
- subordinate employees employees
- is the most vital to achieving success is the most vital factor in achieving success
- triumph success
- it is essential that communication must be transmitted it is essential for decisions to be communicated
- will accomplish the organization running will enable the organization to operate
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response has a clear comparative position and its strongest section identifies two credible company-success factors beyond communication. However, the communication argument is thin, the essay is slightly under length, and recurrent awkward or faulty constructions reduce precision and sometimes interrupt the reasoning. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the first view with a concrete explanation while revising sentences into natural subject-verb and clause patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but the communication view is briefly and sometimes unclearly developed.
Add a specific workplace example showing how effective communication directly prevents failure or improves performance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is logical and the main contrast is easy to follow, despite some unclear internal links.
Use explicit cause-and-effect links within the communication paragraph so each sentence advances one coherent argument.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately and includes some less common terms, but unnatural collocations recur.
Prefer natural phrases such as set an organisation's direction, implement decisions, and achieve operational efficiency.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, though agreement, clause, and complementation errors are noticeable.
Review sentence patterns after verbs such as make, accomplish, and need, and avoid combining essential with must.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.