In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?
Sample Response
In many countries, there is a communication rift between the older and younger generations. This is a natural phenomenon and the solution is for both sides to compromise.
The old and young often cannot communicate well because of major differences in perspective. It is natural that older people will have a more mature outlook and younger people be more radical in their views. A good example of this would be in Vietnam where the older generation holds very conservative, traditional views related to familial structures, careers, and social values that conflict with the more modern, progressive positions of the younger generation. Young people have heard the traditional arguments for years and want to rebel, often out of naivety. Older people have the benefit of experience and and feel young people should follow their advice. This basic antagonism underlies poor communication between the generations.
The best solutions all rely on compromise. Young people ought to accept that their lack of life experience puts them at a disadvantage in understanding the world. Many of their opinions are premature and will evolve over time. This implies that they should make greater efforts to understand the counsel of their elders. Their elders, in turn, must realise that their experiences are a small sample size from a unique time period. If, for example, they had to struggle to earn a living and raise a family, they must concede this only a single instance that cannot be simplistically generalised. Moreover, times have changed and what was sound advice in the past, may be largely irrelevant today.
In conclusion, the old and young are in different life stages and naturally have contrasting mindsets and the best solutions require a self-reflective modesty from both demographics. In this way, they will be able to learn more from each other.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural collocation Original: rift Suggested revision: gap Why it matters: 'Communication gap' is the more established expression for difficulty communicating between groups.
- 2. Use precise group labels Original: The old and young often Suggested revision: Older and younger people often Why it matters: The replacement identifies both age groups more precisely and avoids using adjectives as collective nouns.
- 3. Balance the comparison Original: older people will have a more mature outlook and younger people be more radical Suggested revision: older people will have a more mature outlook while younger people may be more radical Why it matters: The replacement supplies a finite modal in the second clause and marks the contrast clearly.
- 4. Clarify the example phrase Original: A good example of this would be in Vietnam where Suggested revision: A good example of this can be found in Vietnam, where Why it matters: The new structure states where the example is found and correctly separates the non-defining relative clause.
- 5. Avoid abstract wording Original: positions Suggested revision: views Why it matters: 'Views' is the more direct term for the opinions being contrasted in this sentence.
- 6. Remove the repeated conjunction Original: experience and and feel Suggested revision: experience and feel Why it matters: The duplicated 'and' is a clear grammatical editing error.
- 7. Use a stronger collocation Original: all rely on compromise Suggested revision: require compromise Why it matters: 'Require compromise' expresses the proposed condition more directly.
- 8. Correct the sampling metaphor Original: a small sample size from a unique time period Suggested revision: a limited sample drawn from a particular period Why it matters: Experiences can form a limited sample, whereas 'sample size' refers to the number of observations.
- 9. Restore the missing clause Original: they must concede this only a single instance Suggested revision: they must concede that this is only a single instance Why it matters: The reporting verb needs a 'that' clause containing the missing verb 'is'.
- 10. Use a concise verb Original: simplistically generalised Suggested revision: overgeneralised Why it matters: The single verb conveys the same criticism more naturally and precisely.
- 11. Remove the subject-verb comma Original: past, may be largely irrelevant Suggested revision: past may be largely irrelevant Why it matters: A comma should not separate the subject clause from its verb phrase.
- 12. Use natural abstract nouns Original: a self-reflective modesty from both demographics Suggested revision: self-reflective humility from both generations Why it matters: 'Humility' is the natural quality here, and 'generations' matches the groups discussed throughout the essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- rift gap
- The old and young often Older and younger people often
- older people will have a more mature outlook and younger people be more radical older people will have a more mature outlook while younger people may be more radical
- A good example of this would be in Vietnam where A good example of this can be found in Vietnam, where
- positions views
- experience and and feel experience and feel
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its focused, insightful explanation of the generational divide and its well-developed proposal for mutual compromise. The main limitation is a small number of grammatical slips and slightly awkward abstractions that interrupt an otherwise polished argument. The highest-priority improvement is to proofread complex sentences carefully, correcting omitted words and refining imprecise expressions while preserving the essay’s strong analytical depth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The cause and solutions are addressed directly, with a clear central argument and substantial explanation from both generational perspectives.
Support the proposed compromise with one concrete example of how a real conversation or decision could be handled differently.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from the cause to reciprocal solutions, and paragraphing and referencing are managed effectively.
Streamline the long concluding sentence so that the final synthesis lands with greater clarity and emphasis.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, flexible, and precise overall, with sophisticated terms used naturally to express nuanced ideas.
Refine occasional awkward abstractions such as experiences are a small sample size and self-reflective modesty.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and well controlled, with only a few minor, non-impeding errors.
Proofread for small slips such as duplicated conjunctions, omitted linking verbs, and unnecessary commas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.