Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In modern societyIn the modern society, youngsters often look up to well-known entertainers and athletes. Many people believe that these celebrities are not good role models for young individuals. Thus, they are concerned about the influence of such admiration. From my perspective, whether that idolisation is beneficial or detrimental depends largelymerely on the young generation’s attitudes.
On the one hand, youngsters’ admiration for celebritiesadoration towards celebrities can bring about several positive effects on thempositive effects to themselves. First of all, individuals who are selective will filter out all the negative characteristics and choose only the good traits of famous figures to emulateonly opt for good traits in famous figures to emulate. This selectivenessconsciousness ensures that adolescents will not blindly imitatereduplicate celebrities' improper actionsimproper actions from celebrities. For example, even though singer Michael Jackson was involved in several allegations, his talent, perseverance and work ethic still inspire many youngsters around the world. Secondly, teenagers can also take valuable lessons from their idols’ mistakes. Since celebrities’ actions are often publicized, adolescents have the opportunityopportunities to observe various examples of misconductmisconducts and learn from them. For instance, upon hearing the doping accusation of Louis Armstrong, many of the cyclist’sbiker’s fans realize that there are no shortcuts to successthere is no shortcut which leads to success and honesty should be of paramount importance.
On the othersecond hand, idolizing entertainers and sportsmen may result in adverse effects. To begin with, since most adolescents are malleable, celebrities' bad examplesbad examples from celebrities can cause them to develop moral problemsdevelop moral issues in them. Many teenagers who look up to Hollywood figures such as Paris Hilton believe that they should pursue a glamorous, materialistic lifestylea glamorous, material life with parties and nightclubs. Other celebrities like Kim Kardashian send the wrong messagepresent a wrong message to the young generation, suggesting that using scandals and PR stunts isare the most effective methods to gain attention and be successful. Furthermore, there are considered to be better role models for the young to hold in high regardregards, such as activists or philanthropists. However, the popularity of celebrities may divert teenagers’ attention away fromsway teenagers’ interest away from these individuals. To be more specific, many teenagers do not care much about politics and other social issues since their attention is solely devoted to entertainmententertaining figures.
All things considered, I believe that the adoration which youngsters dedicate to media and sports stars hashave both strengths and weaknesses. While this admiration allows youngsters to emulate celebrities’ good traits and draw a lesson from their mishaps, it also develops moral issues in them and takes the spotlight away from the more deserving role models.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced development of both beneficial and harmful effects, supported by relevant explanations and concrete examples. Its main limitation is a position that remains somewhat noncommittal for a positive-or-negative question, while several awkward word choices and agreement errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to state a sharper overall judgement and express supporting points with more natural collocations and tighter grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides with relevant, well-extended ideas and maintains a qualified view that outcomes depend on young people’s attitudes.
Clarify how the conditional position resolves the question by specifying when the development becomes positive or negative.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through an introduction, two contrasting body sections, and a conclusion, with clear internal sequencing.
Replace formulaic or inaccurate transitions such as ‘On the second hand’ with natural links and reduce repetitive signposting.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports precise discussion of influence, character, misconduct, and social priorities, although several collocations are unnatural.
Use more idiomatic combinations, such as ‘effects on young people’ and ‘hold in high regard’, and avoid imprecise choices like ‘reduplicate’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures effectively, but agreement, article, and plural-form errors recur in otherwise clear sentences.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and fixed noun forms, especially around collective subjects and uncountable nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.