Fewer young people do farming work in rural areas. Why? Should young people be encouraged to do farming work?
Sample Response
These days, rural youth are less involved in farming work. There are several reasons for this change, and I firmly believe that it is vital for governments and NGOs to engage them in farming.
There are two leading reasons why young people in rural areas tend to leave farming. Firstly, they tend to hold negative perceptions of agricultural work. Farming is often associated with hardship and poverty. It is painstaking labor that indeed takes months to take care of crops and yet cannot guarantee a fruitful harvest due to external factors like weather conditions, pests and diseases. In fact, having experienced this instability, many rural parents even discourage youngsters from leading a farmer’s life. Secondly, today’s generation is more advantageous than older generations as they have access to the Internet. They begin to know many vocational opportunities out there that are more profitable and financially stable than farming work. In other words, farming is no longer their only choice and is more likely an inferior choice.
I think it is essential to engage youth in farming work because of two main reasons. For one thing, farmers are aging; in Vietnam, the average age of farmers is 50. If young people stay uninvolved, there would probably be no next generations of farmers who provide food and agricultural products. Another reason is that young people are technology adopters from an early age. With their familiarity with technologies, they can find ways to incorporate those technologies in modern farming and solve many agricultural problems, like using remote-controlled helicopters to spray pesticides.
In conclusion, it is due to negative perceptions and abundance of career choices that discourage rural youth from going into farming, and I think engaging them in farming work from now on is vital for our future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: rural youth are less involved in farming work Suggested revision: rural youth are less likely to work in farming Why it matters: This phrasing states the participation trend more naturally.
- 2. Improve word choice Original: leading Suggested revision: main Why it matters: ‘Main reasons’ is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 3. Clarify career choice Original: tend to leave farming Suggested revision: tend not to pursue farming Why it matters: The revision better expresses young people choosing against a farming career.
- 4. Fix sentence structure Original: It is painstaking labor Suggested revision: It involves painstaking labour Why it matters: The original structure incorrectly identifies farming itself as labour rather than describing what it involves.
- 5. Use concise collocation Original: months to take care of crops Suggested revision: months of tending crops Why it matters: ‘Tending crops’ is more concise and idiomatic than ‘taking care of crops’.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: fruitful Suggested revision: successful Why it matters: ‘Successful harvest’ conveys the intended outcome without the awkward repetition of the fruit metaphor.
- 7. Fix adjective use Original: today’s generation is more advantageous than older generations Suggested revision: today’s generation has more advantages than previous generations Why it matters: People or generations have advantages; they are not themselves ‘advantageous’ in this comparison.
- 8. Complete comparison structure Original: is more likely an inferior choice Suggested revision: is more likely to seem an inferior choice Why it matters: ‘Likely’ needs an infinitive here to express how farming is perceived.
- 9. Correct reason phrase Original: because of two main reasons Suggested revision: for two main reasons Why it matters: ‘For two main reasons’ is the standard construction introducing an explanation.
- 10. Fix number and modality Original: there would probably be no next generations of farmers Suggested revision: there may be no next generation of farmers Why it matters: ‘Next generation’ is singular in this context, and ‘may’ fits the stated future possibility.
- 11. Use precise term Original: technology adopters from an early age Suggested revision: early adopters of technology Why it matters: ‘Early adopters of technology’ is the established expression for this idea.
- 12. Use formal example marker Original: external factors like Suggested revision: external factors such as Why it matters: ‘Such as’ introduces the listed examples more formally and precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- rural youth are less involved in farming work rural youth are less likely to work in farming
- leading main
- tend to leave farming tend not to pursue farming
- It is painstaking labor It involves painstaking labour
- months to take care of crops months of tending crops
- fruitful successful
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response directly addresses both questions, sustains a clear position, and develops its main ideas with relevant explanations and examples, especially the link between young people’s technological familiarity and modern agriculture. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision or awkwardness in wording, which slightly weakens an otherwise persuasive argument. The highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and express causal claims more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully answered through a clear position and well-developed, relevant reasons.
Qualify broad claims about the future absence of farmers to make the argument more measured and convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used effectively throughout.
Vary the signposting of supporting reasons so the progression feels less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, despite several awkward or imprecise collocations.
Replace phrases such as ‘more advantageous’ and ‘no next generations of farmers’ with more natural, precise wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally well controlled, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Check conditional forms, agreement, and clause construction when expressing hypothetical future consequences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fewer young people do farming work in rural areas. Why? Should young people be encouraged to do farming work?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.