Many people believe that young people enjoy life more than older people do. Do you agree or disagree? Why? Explain your position.
Sample Response
Globalisation and metropolitan cultures have revolutionised human life. Had it not been forHave it been for shopping malls, various food chains and extreme sports centres, people have numerous alternatives for enjoymentalternatives to enjoy and relieve stressrelease the stresses! Regarding the argumentIn apropos of the argument, I am in complete agreement with itI am consummate accord with it and I believe that young adults lead an interesting and adventurous life. This opinion is surrounded by various arguments. To begin with, given the alternatives available nowadaysin the wake of available alternatives nowadays, adolescentsadolescences lead lives thatlive a life, which allows them to explore and learn. Youngsters have handy and useful options such as the internet, social media, high-resolution video games, shopping malls, where they can hang out with friends and enjoy themselves at any timeenjoy anytime. For instanceFor an instance, as per a report from a leading advertisement agency, 90% of parents90% parents agreed that children have numerous viable options to engage in, that were not availablewhich were not possible in the pre-globalisation erain pre-globalization era. Moreover, technological gadgets and social media are particularly difficult to usemajorly intricate to use for old people. Thus, olderaged people cannot utilise these forms of entertainmententertainment mediums and enjoy. In addition, youngsters of the twenty-first century are adventurous and they tend to participate inhave a proclivity to perform various extreme sports. In other words, adults participate in extreme sportshigh voltage sports such as jumping, skating, paragliding etc., which is never possible for old people. It can be confirmed by a survey done by an extreme sports organisationextreme sports body in the USA. As per the survey, 90% of the adventure sports are executing only because of people less than 30 years of age. Evidently, aged people are not capable and fit enough to enjoy these sports. Biologically young people have a sound body and moremuch enthusiasm than the people in old ages. The sound body and inquisitive mind are two main ingredients to lead a happy and enjoyable life. In this regard, young people lead a better life than older people.
To sum up, I am convinced that technological development and adventure sports have opened multiple new avenues of entertainment for youngsters, which are not feasible for the old people to participate in. Thus, young adults have more alternatives to lead an entertaining life and they utilise it overwhelmingly.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear position and develops two relevant lines of support: wider access to technology-based entertainment and greater participation in physically demanding activities. Its main weakness is that the argument relies on sweeping assumptions about older people and unsupported survey figures, while frequent unnatural wording reduces credibility. Prioritise balanced, specific comparisons and explain how age affects opportunities without claiming that older adults cannot enjoy technology or active leisure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent position is supported by relevant arguments about digital entertainment and physical activity, but the evidence is narrow, overgeneralised, and sometimes implausible.
Use credible examples and acknowledge variation within age groups before explaining why younger people may have broader access to particular activities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning moves clearly from technology to adventure sports and then to physical capacity, although the oversized body paragraph and mechanical transitions weaken organisation.
Separate the technology and physical-activity arguments into focused body paragraphs, each ending with an explicit link to enjoyment.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts an ambitious range, but frequent inappropriate expressions such as 'consummate accord', 'majorly intricate', 'high voltage sports', and 'utilise it overwhelmingly' impair naturalness.
Choose simpler precise language, such as 'strongly agree', 'difficult to use', 'extreme sports', and 'make extensive use of these options'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in clauses, comparisons, articles, and passive forms sometimes make sentences difficult to process.
Correct core patterns such as 'Had it not been for', '90% of parents', 'more enthusiasm than', and 'sports are practised' before adding complex vocabulary.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that young people enjoy life more than older people do. Do you agree or disagree? Why? Explain your position.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.