In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
There has been a dramatic increase in the numbers of newspaper and television channel over the last few years. Despite this increasing numbers, a large proportion of the population, which consist of youngsters seem uninteresting to pursue news on print and electronic media. Timings, traditional and boring way of presenting information and new interests among young are few factors that impede the youngster attention towards reading or watching the news. However, there is a dire need to adapt new technologies to cater youngster interest. For instance, the online version of the news, easy accessibility and encouragement from guardians can help a lot in this regard. Firstly, newspaper always comes in the morning, which is the busiest time of youngsters, as they are approaching schools and colleges at that time. Secondly, nowadays mass media is full of boring and traditional news, having nothing new for the youngster that can attract their attention. Thirdly, study loads and pressure of completing assignments, projects and research work are the main hindrances to following news on media. Apart from that, youngsters spend more time on social networking sites and that’s why they have less interest in traditional newspapers or news channels. However, media could appeal numerous youngsters by providing them online news and video streaming by the use of technology that will be more convenient and easily accessible for them. Additionally, interaction by the forum, chats and comments also play a pivotal role in pulling target audience. Moreover, youngsters should have access to newspapers on bus stops, stations and waiting for areas of institutions. To sum up, I would like to say that new and innovative ways of information dissemination with the use of technological advancements would definitely influence youngsters. Accessibility of resources and guidance from the parents could also be fruitful.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Number agreement Original: numbers of newspaper and television channel Suggested revision: number of newspapers and television channels Why it matters: Number is singular after the, and both nouns must be plural.
- 2. Determiner agreement Original: Despite this increasing numbers Suggested revision: Despite these increasing numbers Why it matters: These agrees with plural numbers.
- 3. Clause agreement Original: which consist of youngsters Suggested revision: consisting of young people, seems Why it matters: The head noun proportion is singular.
- 4. Wrong adjective Original: seem uninteresting to pursue news Suggested revision: seems uninterested in following the news Why it matters: People are uninterested; topics are uninteresting.
- 5. Imprecise cause Original: Timings Suggested revision: Inconvenient schedules Why it matters: This states the cause clearly.
- 6. Missing article Original: traditional and boring way Suggested revision: a traditional and boring way Why it matters: Way is a singular count noun.
- 7. Possessive form Original: youngster attention Suggested revision: young people's attention Why it matters: Use the possessive plural.
- 8. Wrong verb Original: adapt new technologies Suggested revision: adopt new technologies Why it matters: Media organizations adopt technologies.
- 9. Wrong construction Original: cater youngster interest Suggested revision: cater to young people's interests Why it matters: Cater takes to, and interests is plural.
- 10. Plural noun Original: newspaper always comes Suggested revision: newspapers usually arrive Why it matters: The statement is about newspapers generally.
- 11. Wrong verb Original: approaching schools and colleges Suggested revision: travelling to school or college Why it matters: This expresses the intended routine.
- 12. Plural agreement Original: mass media is full Suggested revision: the mass media are full Why it matters: Media is conventionally plural in formal writing.
Suggested Rewrites
- numbers of newspaper and television channel number of newspapers and television channels
- Despite this increasing numbers Despite these increasing numbers
- which consist of youngsters consisting of young people, seems
- seem uninteresting to pursue news seems uninterested in following the news
- Timings Inconvenient schedules
- traditional and boring way a traditional and boring way
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both causes and solutions with a good range of relevant ideas, including time pressures, social media, online delivery, and easier access. However, the ideas are presented in one dense block and frequent agreement, article, and collocation errors make the argument less polished; prioritise clear cause-solution paragraphing and accurate noun phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both parts are answered with several relevant causes and feasible solutions, though explanation is sometimes brief or generalized.
Link each major cause to a corresponding solution and explain how it would change young people's behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
Sequencing words show an intended structure, but the single paragraph and list-like development weaken progression.
Use one paragraph for causes and another for solutions, with clear internal grouping.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but inaccurate word forms and collocations recur frequently.
Use natural phrases such as 'young people's attention', 'engage young audiences' and 'news consumption'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but agreement, articles, plurals and relative clauses are often inaccurate.
Check the head noun of each long subject before choosing the verb and possessive form.