Many young people change their jobs and careers. What is the reason for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In the contemporary world, people have enormous chances to pick and drop professions due to its’ diversity. There are numerous reasons they are to do so. This situation has both merits as well as demerits, but definitely, the pros outweigh the cons.
To begin with, in a developing country like India, it isn’t easy to get the desired job as per our graduation background. Because each and every year, thousands of graduates and professionals were passing out from our educational institutions. For this, these professionals were engaged with different kinds of jobs that are available in the markets. So, the employee forcefully takes the initiative to try his luck. Secondly, organizations set a benchmark for professionals before applying for a job. For example, Five years of experience in marketing or HR fields. Then only they can even apply for the desired jobs. For achieving their desired job, they forcefully continue in their previous jobs. Finally, these experiences and qualifications help them to mould a professional and better salary hike. It will take years for getting and desired job.
On the other hand, frequent work change will consider that employees may not be stable in organizations, and they only get such type of consideration inside the firm. Management may not be interested in leading big projects through these employees. In addition, on the final reviews, they may not be considered for salary hikes. Secondly, these common professional changes show that a particular employee is not fit for any designations. More than an asset, the company treated him as a liability. Lastly, these changes may not lead employees to any type of personal growth in their careers. They do not receive any type of talent in their personal and professional career.
In conclusion, it isn’t easy to continue till the end where we joined our career beginning. It is beneficial to understand several organizational cultures and professional experiences through these changes. However, be patient and enthusiastic in whichever designation or profession you are adorning. That will help you to appropriate career growth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: enormous chances Suggested revision: many opportunities Why it matters: Many opportunities is the natural expression for having a range of career options.
- 2. Use precise career terms Original: pick and drop professions Suggested revision: choose and leave careers Why it matters: Choose and leave careers expresses the intended employment changes clearly.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: its’ diversity Suggested revision: the diversity of available careers Why it matters: The possessive form is incorrect and its has no clear singular antecedent.
- 4. Fix correlative structure Original: both merits as well as demerits Suggested revision: both merits and demerits Why it matters: Both should be paired with and rather than as well as.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: as per our graduation background Suggested revision: that matches our academic background Why it matters: This revision states the relationship between a job and qualifications clearly.
- 6. Use logical connector Original: For this Suggested revision: Consequently Why it matters: Consequently clearly signals that taking other work results from limited job availability.
- 7. Use correct tense Original: were engaged with Suggested revision: accept Why it matters: The present simple is needed for this general situation, and accept collocates with jobs.
- 8. Use employment collocation Original: available in the markets Suggested revision: available in the job market Why it matters: Job market is the standard term for employment opportunities.
- 9. Express compulsion clearly Original: the employee forcefully takes the initiative Suggested revision: an employee may feel compelled Why it matters: This revision fixes the generic article and removes the contradiction between forcefully and initiative.
- 10. Clarify hiring requirement Original: set a benchmark for professionals before applying for a job Suggested revision: set experience requirements that applicants must meet Why it matters: The revision accurately describes conditions imposed on job applicants.
- 11. Correct connector order Original: Then only Suggested revision: Only then Why it matters: Only then is the standard sequence for introducing a result dependent on a prior condition.
- 12. Use infinitive of purpose Original: For achieving Suggested revision: To obtain Why it matters: An infinitive is the natural structure for expressing purpose here.
Suggested Rewrites
- enormous chances many opportunities
- pick and drop professions choose and leave careers
- its’ diversity the diversity of available careers
- both merits as well as demerits both merits and demerits
- as per our graduation background that matches our academic background
- For this Consequently
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognisable position and uses clear paragraph divisions to discuss employment pressures and possible career consequences. However, the explanation of why young people change careers is often unclear, while the claimed advantages are barely developed and are not convincingly weighed against the disadvantages. The priority is to organise one focused paragraph on reasons and then compare specific, fully explained benefits and drawbacks before reaffirming a consistent judgment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the topic and states a position, but the reasons are unclear and the advantages-over-disadvantages judgment receives limited support.
Develop distinct reasons for career changes and explicitly compare well-supported advantages with disadvantages to justify the stated position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing and sequencing are evident, but progression within paragraphs is uneven and several links between ideas are difficult to follow.
Give each paragraph one controlling purpose and connect every example and explanation directly to its topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and sometimes obscure meaning.
Use more natural employment-related phrases, replacing expressions such as “pick and drop professions,” “forcefully continue,” and “receive talent.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent errors in sentence structure, tense, agreement, articles, and fragments limit control.
Prioritise complete sentence construction and consistent verb forms, especially when explaining general employment patterns and their consequences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many young people change their jobs and careers. What is the reason for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.