As major cities around the world are growing, so are their problems. What are these problems for young people living in cities? What are possible solutions to these problems?
Sample Response
There has been a worrying trend all the world captured with ample buildings and create a severe issue of debate which youngster also fears various problems in daily life. Their poor housing and pollution are the most dangerous aspects, and Detroit is the development across the world. However, this can be a scribe for several reasons, and it must be addressed by possible definite actions in the upcoming paragraphs.
The primary reason is migration; when message chunk of people gets to migrate to an urban area, this would cost the security of proper houses. To make this clear, city developers forced themself to live in a gram theory and also Dupree from numerous amenities such as water and electricity, so they quickly get a track to metropolitan city’s which day avail all facilities which day seeking for, as a result, the partner of the population in the city gradually change this leads to Growth of development in CTS skyrocketed. For instance, in India, there are numerous slum areas where thousands of migrant workers live in horrible situations. They suffer from various drastic stick diseases due to lack of resources and hold highly infected places. As a result, they like to move forward in the big city. another apparent reason is that unemployment and lack of assets the ratio of job seekers rapidly search over the years and looking for a desirable job. Hence, they like to settle in a large city, and many youngsters also lose the opportunity to become successful because migrant labourers increase the amount of competition and residents unable to make their careers up to the mark.
The solution or not simple. Therefore the steps have to be taken on a war footing. The first possible solution is that government need to relocate the industries and multinational companies to the countryside and provide all likely crucial and search for the community living there as a result of the fast pace of migration slowly to chrome moves in city and traffic congestion dramatically plummeted. The second feasible solution is to improve the infrastructure of the country authorities need to construct new health and education departments in unreached locations and give connectivity to all modern facilities, which individuals quickly benefit from and drop the plan of moving to big cities.
In conclusion, even though the high number of inhabitants in cities can lead to a housing shortage and increase contamination. This may be resolved by reducing the overcrowding of people and vehicles on the road. Therefore, there are several reasons why young people face various problems that various Rebtel actions can tackle before it becomes the main kind.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove wrong determiner Original: Their poor housing Suggested revision: Poor housing Why it matters: The possessive determiner has no clear antecedent and is unnecessary.
- 2. Restore intended meaning Original: Detroit is the development across the world Suggested revision: rapid urban development is occurring worldwide Why it matters: The original wording is semantically unclear and does not form a meaningful claim.
- 3. Use correct expression Original: this can be a scribe for several reasons Suggested revision: this can be attributed to several causes Why it matters: 'Attributed to' is the appropriate expression for identifying causes.
- 4. Avoid conflicting modifiers Original: possible definite actions Suggested revision: specific actions Why it matters: 'Possible' and 'definite' conflict, while 'specific' conveys the intended meaning.
- 5. Repair quantity phrase Original: message chunk of people Suggested revision: a large number of people Why it matters: The original phrase is not a grammatical expression of quantity.
- 6. Use simple present Original: gets to migrate Suggested revision: migrates Why it matters: The simple present correctly states the general situation.
- 7. Clarify housing effect Original: would cost the security of proper houses Suggested revision: can reduce access to adequate housing Why it matters: The original collocation does not clearly express reduced housing availability.
- 8. Use meaningful phrase Original: drastic stick diseases Suggested revision: serious diseases Why it matters: The original modifiers do not form a meaningful description of illness.
- 9. Clarify living conditions Original: hold highly infected places Suggested revision: live in highly polluted areas Why it matters: The replacement clearly describes the unhealthy places where the workers live.
- 10. Use correct movement phrase Original: move forward in the big city Suggested revision: move to a large city Why it matters: 'Move to' correctly expresses relocation to a city.
- 11. Introduce the problem Original: another apparent reason Suggested revision: Another apparent problem Why it matters: The paragraph is identifying a problem faced by young people rather than another cause of migration.
- 12. Add missing verb Original: residents unable Suggested revision: residents are unable Why it matters: The clause requires the finite verb 'are'.
Suggested Rewrites
- Their poor housing Poor housing
- Detroit is the development across the world rapid urban development is occurring worldwide
- this can be a scribe for several reasons this can be attributed to several causes
- possible definite actions specific actions
- message chunk of people a large number of people
- gets to migrate migrates
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response has a recognisable problem-solution structure and proposes potentially relevant measures, including moving employment and improving rural infrastructure. However, its discussion often shifts from problems faced by young residents to causes of migration, and pervasive wording and sentence errors frequently obscure the intended meaning. The highest priority is to select two clearly defined problems, explain their direct effects on young people, and link each one to a plainly expressed solution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response identifies some relevant urban problems and solutions, but it focuses heavily on migration causes and develops the effects on young people unevenly.
Organise the content around two specific problems for young people and explain how one practical solution addresses each problem.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the broad stages of the answer, but long run-on passages, unclear referencing, and faulty connections disrupt progression within them.
Use one main idea per paragraph and connect short, complete sentences with only the linking words whose logical relationship is clear.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant urban-development vocabulary is attempted, but frequent incorrect word choices, spelling distortions, and unnatural combinations make many passages difficult to understand.
Use familiar, precise terms for housing, pollution, employment, and infrastructure instead of substituting uncertain or memorised expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, verb forms, articles, and clause construction often obscure meaning despite attempts at complex structures.
Build accurate simple and compound sentences first, ensuring every clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As major cities around the world are growing, so are their problems. What are these problems for young people living in cities? What are possible solutions to these problems?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.