In some countries, only a few young people go to classical music concerts or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?
Sample Response
In some places, only a limited number of young people attend classical music concerts or play this kind of music. In my opinion, the reason for this comes from the change in young people’s taste of music, and it is not necessary to encourage them to learn classical music.
Music nowadays is diverse in genres, and classical music no longer has the dominant role like in the past. In fact, the majority of young people now pay attention to trendy music types, such as rock, pop and hip hop, and many consider classical music to be a thing of the past. This is the reason why they find no interest in either attending classical music concerts or learning to play this genre of music.
In addition, it is not necessary to encourage young people to find out more about classical music since it brings little practical value to their daily lives. The knowledge about classical music contributes almost nothing to most young people’s study and career, and therefore spending time learning it can be a waste of time. In terms of entertainment, many young people now find it more enjoyable listening to pop, rock or R&B rather than classical music. Encouraging them to find out about what is not of their interest may bring no positive results but just reluctance.
In conclusion, the major reason why only a few young people attend classical music concerts or play this music genre is the change in their taste of music. I also believe there is no need to encourage them to learn more about classical music due to the little value it brings.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: the reason for this comes from Suggested revision: the reason for this is Why it matters: The original expression is unnatural when identifying a cause.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: the change in young people’s taste of music Suggested revision: changing musical tastes among young people Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the shift in preferences more naturally.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: is diverse in genres Suggested revision: includes diverse genres Why it matters: Music includes genres rather than being diverse in them.
- 4. Correct comparison Original: dominant role like in the past Suggested revision: same dominant role as it did in the past Why it matters: The comparison requires the pattern “the same ... as.”
- 5. Choose precise vocabulary Original: pay attention to trendy music types Suggested revision: prefer contemporary genres Why it matters: This wording states the musical preference more directly and naturally.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: find Suggested revision: have Why it matters: English uses “have an interest,” not “find an interest,” in this context.
- 7. Use plural nouns Original: most young people’s study and career Suggested revision: most young people’s studies or careers Why it matters: The general reference to multiple people requires plural count nouns.
- 8. Use natural expression Original: what is not of their interest Suggested revision: something that does not interest them Why it matters: The original phrase is not idiomatic English.
- 9. Clarify the outcome Original: bring no positive results but just reluctance Suggested revision: produce only reluctance and no positive results Why it matters: This revision makes the contrast and intended outcome grammatically clear.
- 10. Correct verb pattern Original: play this music genre Suggested revision: play music in this genre Why it matters: People play music within a genre rather than play the genre itself.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: Music nowadays Suggested revision: Contemporary music Why it matters: The adjective expresses the time reference more naturally.
- 12. Reduce wordiness Original: the majority of young people now Suggested revision: most young people now Why it matters: “Most” states the same proportion more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- the reason for this comes from the reason for this is
- the change in young people’s taste of music changing musical tastes among young people
- is diverse in genres includes diverse genres
- dominant role like in the past same dominant role as it did in the past
- pay attention to trendy music types prefer contemporary genres
- find have
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and straightforward organisation, with both questions answered and the reasoning easy to follow. Its main limitation is that the explanation relies on broad assertions about changing tastes and practical value, without probing possible cultural or educational benefits. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each central claim with a more specific example or a fuller explanation of its consequences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear, consistent position and relevant ideas, although support remains fairly general.
Develop the reasons with specific examples and address a plausible benefit of classical music before rejecting encouragement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Use more varied internal linking so relationships between claims feel less dependent on repeated causal phrases.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and topic-appropriate, though several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as finding no interest and being of their interest with more natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is used with generally good control and only occasional non-impeding errors.
Refine comparative and gerund constructions, particularly formulations such as finding it more enjoyable listening.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, only a few young people go to classical music concerts or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.