Major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in those cities are facing? Suggest some solutions.
Sample Response
There is no doubt that cosmopolitan cities are facing different issues. Poor housing and pollution are the most dangerous; however, these can be effectively controlled by setting a planned city outside the centre of the town.
On the one hand, firstly, when a large number of people migrate to an urban area, this would cause scarcity of proper houses. In other words, the city dwellers may be forced to live in a cramped space, where they could not have safe water and sanitation facilities. Additionally, the influx of dwellers means the urbanised place is vulnerable to pollution from industries and vehicles. For example, in Mumbai, where, a slum called Dharavi, millions of migrant workers live in pathetic situations, which is often seen as an epicentre of many diseases since most of the inhabitants are living without having basic requirements and this region is highly contaminated as well.
Nevertheless, on the other hand, the above-mentioned problems are significantly diminished, if the government of town makes a proper plan of action to counteract the difficulties. The first and foremost thing is that relocate the industries and multi-national companies to the outskirts of the city. By doing this, gradually and slowly the crow moves to the new location, eventually, vehicles can be reduced. Moreover, For instance, the authority can impose stricter punishment on traffic offenders along with no traffic zone and encourage public transportation can limit pollution for a great extent in this types of the busy part of the world.
In conclusion, even though due to the high volume of inhabitants in cities can lead a ack of housing and increase contamination, this may be resolved by reducing the overcrowding of people and vehicles on the road. It is recommended that every township is needed to plan in order to meet future needs and pollutions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Choose accurate adjective Original: dangerous Suggested revision: serious Why it matters: Serious is the more suitable adjective for evaluating housing and pollution problems.
- 2. Correct verb collocation Original: setting Suggested revision: developing Why it matters: Cities are developed or built rather than set.
- 3. Use concise location Original: outside the centre of the town Suggested revision: outside the city centre Why it matters: This wording is more natural and maintains consistent reference to a city.
- 4. Remove redundant linkers Original: On the one hand, firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: The two opening linkers overlap and do not introduce a later contrasting hand.
- 5. Correct conditional phrasing Original: this would cause scarcity of proper houses Suggested revision: this can cause a shortage of adequate housing Why it matters: Can matches the general cause-and-effect claim, and a shortage of housing is the natural construction.
- 6. Use suitable housing term Original: a cramped space Suggested revision: cramped accommodation Why it matters: Accommodation describes living conditions more precisely than a single space.
- 7. Express lack of access Original: could not have safe water Suggested revision: may lack access to safe water Why it matters: The revised modal and verb phrase accurately express a possible general condition.
- 8. Correct population term Original: dwellers Suggested revision: people Why it matters: Dwellers already inhabit a place, so people is the appropriate noun for arrivals.
- 9. Use natural noun phrase Original: the urbanised place Suggested revision: the urban area Why it matters: Urban area is the standard expression for a developed city location.
- 10. Signal solution clearly Original: Nevertheless, on the other hand Suggested revision: To address these problems Why it matters: The paragraph introduces solutions, so a problem-solution transition is clearer than two contrast markers.
- 11. Use appropriate modality Original: are significantly diminished Suggested revision: could be significantly reduced Why it matters: The modal form presents the proposed outcome accurately rather than as an established present fact.
- 12. Correct noun phrase Original: the government of town Suggested revision: the city government Why it matters: City government is the natural construction and requires no missing article before town.
Suggested Rewrites
- dangerous serious
- setting developing
- outside the centre of the town outside the city centre
- On the one hand, firstly First
- this would cause scarcity of proper houses this can cause a shortage of adequate housing
- a cramped space cramped accommodation
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies two urban problems and offers several relevant policy directions, with a recognisable problem-solution structure. However, it rarely addresses the required focus on young people, and frequent grammatical and lexical errors make several explanations difficult to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to select problems that specifically affect urban youth and explain one clear, workable solution for each in accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Housing and pollution are discussed with proposed solutions, but the response largely overlooks how these problems specifically affect young people and develops some solutions unclearly.
Frame each problem around young residents and explain precisely how the corresponding policy would improve their circumstances.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall problem-solution organisation is evident, but mechanical linkers, overloaded sentences, and unclear internal connections weaken progression.
Use one focused idea per sentence and connect each solution directly to the problem it is intended to solve.
Lexical Resource
The response shows enough topic vocabulary to discuss urban issues, but frequent spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors reduce precision.
Proofread high-impact choices such as crowd, lack, pollution, and to a great extent, and avoid imprecise expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in clause formation, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries sometimes impede meaning.
Prioritise complete subject-verb clauses and accurate sentence boundaries before attempting long multi-clause constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in those cities are facing? Suggest some solutions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.