More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work, such as teaching and building houses for communities in poorer countries. What are the reasons for this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?
Sample Response
There has been an ongoing trend of many young people from prosperous nations deciding to spend their time doing voluntary work in underprivileged countries. Some of the prominent reasons for this phenomenon will be discussed before the benefits of both individuals and developing countries are analyzed.
There are several convincing reasons associated with this practice. The most significant factor is that doing such unpaid work in poor countries would be a comparative advantage for the young when applying for a job in the future. In other words, in this fierce and competitive job market, a candidate possessing an application file accompanied by only great scores could not be the ideal one that a recruiter is finding; therefore, he or she needs outstanding volunteering experience to be able to compete with other rivals. Another reason that is worth mentioning is that young generations could engender the feeling of community when participating in unpaid work. Their voluntary efforts help to give prominence to the value of sharing and the sense of social responsibility to secure improved humanity and international awareness about disadvantaged places.
It is undoubted that both the young volunteers and underdeveloped or developing countries could equally gain from this phenomenon. Regarding the young, it is apparent that the aforementioned meaningful work not only brings the volunteers unforgettable life lessons, gives them hands–on experience but also helps expand their network of relationships. As a result, they gradually grow more mature and confident, realizing the diversity of life by getting to know many walks of people. In regard to poorer countries, they may have a chance to raise the living standards of their dwellers. For instance, knowledge related to environmental protection or health care which they have acquired from overseas volunteers possibly improves their living conditions afterwards.
To sum up, the requirement of a more competitive profile and the determination to support financially disadvantaged countries are the two principal elements that make young people join a wide range of voluntary activities. I would contend that both the volunteers and the community are the beneficiaries of the practice above.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the task wording Original: prosperous nations Suggested revision: wealthy countries Why it matters: This phrasing is more direct and aligns precisely with the group described in the task.
- 2. Use a natural collocation Original: prominent Suggested revision: main Why it matters: “Main reasons” is the more natural phrase for introducing the principal causes.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: a comparative advantage for the young Suggested revision: an advantage for young people Why it matters: “Comparative advantage” is a technical economic term and is inaccurate in this employment context.
- 4. Use the correct phrase Original: recruiter is finding Suggested revision: recruiter is looking for Why it matters: A recruiter “looks for” an ideal candidate rather than “finds” one in this construction.
- 5. Choose the precise noun Original: rivals Suggested revision: candidates Why it matters: Job applicants compete with other candidates, while “rivals” is less precise and “other” makes it redundant.
- 6. Correct the noun phrase Original: generations Suggested revision: people Why it matters: “Young generations” is not the appropriate countable phrase for the individuals taking part.
- 7. Use an idiomatic phrase Original: engender the feeling of community Suggested revision: develop a sense of community Why it matters: “Develop a sense of community” is the natural collocation for this intended meaning.
- 8. Clarify the meaning Original: secure improved humanity Suggested revision: promote human welfare Why it matters: The original combination is unnatural and does not clearly express the intended social benefit.
- 9. Correct the construction Original: It is undoubted that Suggested revision: There is no doubt that Why it matters: “It is undoubted that” is not an idiomatic introductory construction in this context.
- 10. Reflect the short duration Original: spend their time doing voluntary work Suggested revision: spend a short period doing voluntary work Why it matters: This wording retains the activity while making its temporary nature explicit.
- 11. Correct the preposition Original: benefits of both individuals and developing countries Suggested revision: benefits for both volunteers and developing countries Why it matters: “Benefits for” identifies the recipients correctly, and “volunteers” names the intended individuals precisely.
- 12. Avoid redundant wording Original: fierce and competitive job market Suggested revision: highly competitive job market Why it matters: “Fierce” and “competitive” express the same quality here, so one focused modifier is clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- prosperous nations wealthy countries
- prominent main
- a comparative advantage for the young an advantage for young people
- recruiter is finding recruiter is looking for
- rivals candidates
- generations people
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear organisation and relevant explanation of why young people volunteer, with employability and social responsibility developed coherently. Its main limitation is that the comparison of benefits is uneven: advantages for volunteers are explained in detail, while the claim that communities benefit equally rests on a brief, speculative example. Develop the community side with a concrete causal explanation before justifying the equal-benefit conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with clear reasons and a definite equal-benefit position, although the community benefits receive limited development.
Support the comparison by explaining in detail how lasting community gains match the volunteers' personal and professional gains.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through reasons and benefits, with effective paragraphing and generally clear cohesive links.
Tighten long explanatory sentences and make the transition from individual benefits to community benefits more explicitly comparative.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports the discussion, but recurring awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness.
Replace strained phrases with precise natural combinations, particularly when describing recruitment, social responsibility, and local residents.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with generally good control, despite occasional errors in articles, agreement, and parallel construction.
Proofread multi-part sentences for balanced structures, especially constructions using not only and but also.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work, such as teaching and building houses for communities in poorer countries. What are the reasons for this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.