People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the cause and effects of widespread drug abuse by young people. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.

Sample Response

1

It is a fact that most people in this modern era consume drugs either because doctors prescribe them or they take the medicines themselves. But it is noticed that young people are usingthe young people are consuming both legal and illegal drugs atfrom an early age and this is indeed a concerning issue in today's society. Some experts believe that it is the fault of the parents and others members of communities that show an inappropriate example. Easy access to drugs is another problem that increases the severityaccelerates the depth of this concerning issue. The following essay will discuss the causes, effects and solutions that can be considered to resolve the issue. For a number of reasons, many young peoplegenerations are using legal and illegal drugs nowadays. Firstly, many teenagers are taking drugs due to the fact that they want to be escape their family problemsrelieved from the family problems. One of the examples is that their parents' marriage might not be working out well and could be heading for divorcein a divorce stage. These teens are distressed by a difficult family situationstressed out with a bad family condition and their way of relieving this stressthe way to release it for them is to consume drugs. Secondly, many young people are using drugs because they live in an unsafe neighbourhood. They live in a society where most of the adultswhere as most of the adults are consuming drugs and drug dealers are moving around in the area. They could be friends with drug users and dealers, and in the end, they will also consume the drugs. Curiosity and lack of proper guideline are the two other reasons many young declines towards drug use. Most interestingly in many modern societies abusing drugs has become a fashion trend and many young people simply followmany young simply follow this trend and as a consequence become addictedas a consequence get trapped. Easy access to drugs in many countries and lack of monitoring by the authoritiesauthority lead to drug abuse by many young. Many young people are abusing drugs and this results in serious problems. One of the effects is that these drugs are affecting their brains and mental healththeir brain and mental conditions. Without consuming the drugs, they cannot think clearly and they would experience paranoiaact like a paranoid without proper care. Another serious effect is that some of these young people might not have enough money to purchase drugspurchase the drug, but as they are addicted to it, they would do anything to get it. They might steal things, become a thief or even rob a store. The overall impact of this on societyimpact of this in a society is quite dangerous and the young who are meant to lead the society in the future are simply destroying their potential. There are several things that people and the government could dopeople and government could do to resolve the issue. The government could launchmake a campaign about how to raise young people and how to maintain the marriage. These campaigns must be socialised to all family members and show the impact of a bad marriage to young people. And then the government should also give more attention to high crime areas. Drug dealers must be arrested and drug users must be punished and sentenced to jail. By implementing these solutions, it is hoped that it will reduce the number of young people who consume drugs.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response fully engages with causes, effects, and possible remedies, developing several relevant chains of explanation about family stress, social exposure, addiction, and crime. Its main limitation is presentation as one long paragraph, compounded by frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors that weaken readability. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and edit each section for accurate, natural sentence construction.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

All three required elements are covered with multiple relevant causes and effects and a clearly identifiable set of recommendations.

Next step

Make the recommendations more persuasive by explaining how prevention and treatment would address the identified causes, rather than relying mainly on punishment.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The argument follows a recognisable causes-effects-solutions sequence, but the single unbroken paragraph substantially weakens organisation and readability.

Next step

Separate the introduction, causes, effects, and recommendations into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences and controlled transitions.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response has enough range for the topic, but frequent imprecise or unnatural expressions limit lexical control.

Next step

Replace awkward phrases such as accelerates the depth and many young declines towards with precise, natural descriptions of risk and behaviour.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the message, although agreement, article, preposition, and sentence-structure errors occur frequently.

Next step

Edit one clause at a time for agreement and complementation, especially in sentences with relative clauses, passive forms, or multiple ideas.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the cause and effects of widespread drug abuse by young people. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.

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