Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Whether it is a sport match or an academic test, competition has always been a preponderance part of life and it contribute to immense pressure for all ages; consequently, there is no escape from rivalry. From my point of view, l strongly disagree with this argument that prohibiting adolescents from participating in sport competition for the sake of alleviating emotional stress. To start out, restriction in certain activity cannot prevent from emotional distress or intellectual involvement, or promoting another skills. Broadly speaking, studies have shown students who do not associate in competition are vulnerable than some of whom are active in sport events. To be more specific, pressurized sport condition not only make them stronger against tough situation in future but also it shape their characters so sociable. As a case in point, if they be a member of Football, volleyball or basketball team at school or be a individual sport they would learn team working, respect for the rival and understanding concept of defeat and triumph; furthermore, they would enjoy better mental and emotional health. In conjunction with the influence of participating in competition the undeniable role of physical fitness improvement should not be underestimated when this issue is dealt with. Generally put, apart from health benefits that sport activities brings for them, physical health and fitness is one of the most substantial factors for mental and intellectual health. To illuminate, regular as well as professional exercise in order to improve physical fitness and motivation is indispensable for participating in competition. it is a immense discrepancies between youngsters that cause make them so successful in education and life. To conclude, as far as I am personally concerned, there is no justification for banning adolescents form participating in sport competition. Notwithstanding the high level of stress in this events, the advantages is so remarkable than disadvantages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Choose accurate wording Original: preponderance Suggested revision: prominent Why it matters: ‘Preponderance’ does not naturally modify ‘part’ in this meaning.
- 2. Fix subject agreement Original: contribute Suggested revision: contributes Why it matters: The singular subject ‘it’ requires the verb form ‘contributes’.
- 3. Use natural verb Original: associate in competition Suggested revision: participate in competitions Why it matters: ‘Participate in’ is the appropriate expression for taking part in competitions.
- 4. Complete comparative form Original: are vulnerable than Suggested revision: are more vulnerable than Why it matters: A comparison with ‘than’ requires the comparative form ‘more vulnerable’.
- 5. Fix comparison reference Original: some of whom are active Suggested revision: those who are active Why it matters: ‘Those who’ correctly identifies the comparison group.
- 6. Improve word form Original: pressurized sport condition Suggested revision: pressurized sporting conditions Why it matters: The plural phrase ‘sporting conditions’ is the natural form in this context.
- 7. Use plural and article Original: tough situation in future Suggested revision: tough situations in the future Why it matters: The general reference needs a plural noun and the fixed phrase ‘in the future’.
- 8. Remove faulty subject Original: it shape Suggested revision: shape Why it matters: The second verb should share the plural subject introduced before ‘not only’.
- 9. Complete the structure Original: characters so sociable Suggested revision: characters and make them more sociable Why it matters: The added coordinated verb phrase expresses the intended result grammatically.
- 10. Mark introductory phrase Original: participating in competition the Suggested revision: participating in competitions, the Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory phrase, and the general noun should be plural.
- 11. Fix form and agreement Original: sport activities brings Suggested revision: sporting activities bring Why it matters: ‘Sporting’ is the appropriate modifier and the plural subject takes ‘bring’.
- 12. Correct preposition spelling Original: form Suggested revision: from Why it matters: ‘Form’ is a spelling error for the preposition ‘from’.
Suggested Rewrites
- preponderance prominent
- contribute contributes
- associate in competition participate in competitions
- are vulnerable than are more vulnerable than
- some of whom are active those who are active
- pressurized sport condition pressurized sporting conditions
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s clearest strength is its firm disagreement with banning young people from sports competitions, supported by relevant references to resilience, teamwork, and fitness. Its main limitation is that several supporting claims become unclear or illogical because explanations are loosely connected and language errors are pervasive. The highest priority is to develop each reason through a simple, accurate cause-and-effect chain before adding examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and the main benefits are relevant, but several claims are insufficiently explained or logically unclear.
Develop each benefit by explaining precisely how competitive sport produces it and support that link with one credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognizable introduction-to-conclusion progression, though overused transitions and poorly controlled long sentences weaken the links between ideas.
Organize each main reason in its own paragraph and use straightforward topic sentences followed by logically ordered support.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations often make the intended meaning difficult to follow.
Prefer familiar, precise combinations such as competitive sport, cope with pressure, and individual athlete instead of forcing uncommon words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but persistent agreement, article, verb-form, and sentence-structure errors reduce clarity.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and complete clause structures, then proofread every sentence for articles and singular-plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.