Some young people are deliberately damaging the public places. Write an essay by addressing what are the causes of it, how they are damaging and what can be done in order to stop it.
Sample Response
In the past, public places were developed for the benefit of the society and everybody seemed to respect that. However, nowadays some youth are playing a crucial role in destroying such places by organising parties at these free locations. Giving importance to socialise with their friends is one of the major reasons which provoke them to perform such activity. To tackle this, government’s role will be analysed for viability and parents should take some steps as well. To begin with, sadly some young people are more inclined towards their social life. Thus, in order to spend time with friends, they prefer setting meetings or parties at the public places. As a consequence, they create a lot of litter in gardens or parks, which not only spoils the beauty of the place but also contributes towards the pollution. Therefore, it is apparent that prioritising social life is the main cause of creating rubbish in public places. Though there are quite responsible youths yet there are some youth who seems very eager to show their power in the public places and they do whatever they wish. There are many ways how those bunch of young people are destroying the peacefulness of such public places. They often shout, talk to friends loudly which might be disturbing for others. Again, They often smoke in public places which are harmful to others and such young people care very less to respect the rules of those public place and often fight each other and show muscle powers to others which are very abominable especially in public places. To counter this, the government should restrict people from using such places for their personal benefit. This can be done by enforcing strict rules and penalties if individuals organise any private event at such places. Apart from government’s involvement in solving this urgent issue, the awareness among people must be increased. They should know the harmfulness and long-term effects of damaging public places and they should spontaneously volunteer to avoid this. As it is seen that young generation is playing a crucial role in spoiling the communal places by producing garbage which results from the parties held at these places. It is thus hoped that government will introduce the subject related to the importance of public places in the school curriculum and target towards the reduction in the misuse of such places.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: the society Suggested revision: society Why it matters: “Society” is used without an article when referring to society in general.
- 2. Use a countable subject Original: some youth are playing Suggested revision: some young people are playing Why it matters: “Youth” is not naturally used as a plural count noun in this construction.
- 3. Choose precise wording Original: a crucial role in destroying Suggested revision: a major role in damaging Why it matters: “Major” avoids the positive connotations of “crucial,” while “damaging” fits public places more precisely.
- 4. Name the places clearly Original: these free locations Suggested revision: these public spaces Why it matters: “Free locations” does not clearly mean places open for public use.
- 5. Fix the verb pattern Original: Giving importance to socialise Suggested revision: Prioritising socialising Why it matters: The original phrase uses an incorrect infinitive after “importance to.”
- 6. Fix pronoun agreement Original: which provoke them Suggested revision: which prompts them Why it matters: The singular preceding reason requires a singular verb.
- 7. Use a natural collocation Original: perform such activity Suggested revision: engage in such activities Why it matters: “Engage in activities” is the standard collocation, and the plural suits repeated behaviour.
- 8. Add the article Original: government’s role Suggested revision: the government's role Why it matters: The specific institution requires the definite article here.
- 9. State the purpose directly Original: will be analysed for viability Suggested revision: will be considered Why it matters: The original expression is unnecessarily technical and does not fit an essay preview naturally.
- 10. Clarify the tendency Original: inclined towards their social life Suggested revision: focused on socialising Why it matters: The revision clearly expresses the behaviour that the sentence describes.
- 11. Correct the collocation Original: prefer setting meetings Suggested revision: prefer arranging meetings Why it matters: Meetings are “arranged,” not normally “set,” in this context.
- 12. Correct article and preposition Original: at the public places Suggested revision: in public places Why it matters: General plural places take no article, and “in” is the natural preposition here.
Suggested Rewrites
- the society society
- some youth are playing some young people are playing
- a crucial role in destroying a major role in damaging
- these free locations these public spaces
- Giving importance to socialise Prioritising socialising
- which provoke them which prompts them
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers causes, forms of damage, and possible solutions, and its sequence from explanation to action is generally easy to follow. However, development is uneven: some behaviours are only loosely connected to deliberate damage, the promised parental role is omitted, and frequent awkward or inaccurate language weakens precision. The highest priority is to select clearer causes and consequences, support each with a focused example, and edit long sentences for control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
All three parts of the task are addressed, but some ideas are unevenly developed or only loosely related to deliberate damage.
Explain two precise causes and link each clearly to a specific form of damage and a practical solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a broadly logical cause-damage-solution sequence, although repetition and some overloaded passages weaken progression.
Divide each main function into a focused paragraph and reduce repeated references to parties, litter, and public places.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but frequent unnatural collocations and word choices limit precision.
Replace awkward expressions such as show muscle powers and care very less with natural, exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, article, pronoun, and run-on errors recur throughout.
Break long coordinated sentences into controlled units and check subject-verb agreement and singular-plural forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some young people are deliberately damaging the public places. Write an essay by addressing what are the causes of it, how they are damaging and what can be done in order to stop it.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.