The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. Airport visitors, 2007-2012 (millions of travellers per year) Dusseldorf 27.2 36.4 48.2 37.1 33.2 45.6 Frankfurt 36.5 41.9 44.4 47.3 51.1 69.3 Berlin Tegel 17.3 26.6 39.9 43.3
Sample Response
The table data compares the passengers of three main airports in Germany from 2007 to 2012. As is presented in the data, the highest number of commuters used the Frankfurt airport and the total number of air travellers of these airports increased over the time with some minor fluctuations. According to the given data, in 2007 thirty-six and a half million travellers used the Frankfurt airport while this number was about 27 million for Dusseldorf and 17 million for Berlin Tegel airports. Almost 10 millions more passengers used those airports next years and further increased in 2009. In 2010 and 2011, some fluctuations could be observed. Finally, in 2012 the highest number of air travellers used the Frankfurt airport (69.3 million) while around 43-46 million travellers used the other two airports. In summary, more people used the airports in Germany in 2012 than they did in previous years and the Frankfurt airport had the highest number of passengers compared to the other two airports.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use table as subject Original: table data compares Suggested revision: table compares Why it matters: Data is unnecessary because the singular table itself performs the comparison.
- 2. Describe airport usage Original: passengers of three main airports Suggested revision: numbers of passengers using three major airports Why it matters: The table counts travellers who used the airports rather than passengers belonging to them.
- 3. Use overview marker Original: As is presented in the data Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall clearly signals the main trends and avoids an indirect visual reference.
- 4. Use accurate traveller term Original: commuters Suggested revision: travellers Why it matters: Commuters usually make regular journeys, while the table broadly counts airport travellers.
- 5. Format airport name Original: used the Frankfurt airport and Suggested revision: used Frankfurt Airport, and Why it matters: Frankfurt Airport is a proper name without the article, and the two clauses need a comma.
- 6. Correct airport relation Original: of Suggested revision: using Why it matters: Travellers use airports; they are not described as being of the airports.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: over the time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: The fixed expression describing gradual change is over time without the article.
- 8. Name divergent trends Original: some fluctuations could be observed Suggested revision: the three figures followed different trends Why it matters: The replacement prepares for a specific comparison rather than giving a vague passive statement.
- 9. Use direct year reference Original: Finally, in 2012 Suggested revision: In 2012 Why it matters: Finally is unnecessary because the year already identifies the last data point.
- 10. Make airport the subject Original: the highest number of air travellers used the Frankfurt airport Suggested revision: Frankfurt Airport handled the highest number of air travellers Why it matters: The rewrite makes the airport receive the passengers instead of making a number perform an action.
- 11. Give precise range Original: around 43-46 million Suggested revision: between 43.3 and 45.6 million Why it matters: The 2012 figures were 43.3 million for Berlin Tegel and 45.6 million for Düsseldorf.
- 12. Remove repeated overview Original: In summary, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The response already presents an overview, so a second summary repeats rather than develops the report.
Suggested Rewrites
- table data compares table compares
- passengers of three main airports numbers of passengers using three major airports
- As is presented in the data Overall
- commuters travellers
- used the Frankfurt airport and used Frankfurt Airport, and
- of using
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview of overall growth and accurately compares the three airports at the beginning and end of the period. Its main weakness is vague and sometimes inaccurate treatment of the intervening years, including the claim that all airports gained almost ten million passengers in 2008 and the omission of Dusseldorf's temporary lead in 2009. The priority is to describe each airport's distinct trend with selected turning-point figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The opening and closing values are handled well, but middle-year trends are underdeveloped and some generalisations do not fit all three airports.
Highlight Dusseldorf's 2009 peak and later decline, Frankfurt's steady rise, and Berlin Tegel's plateau at 43.3 million from 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a broadly chronological order, but the overview is repeated at the end and the middle years are compressed into vague statements.
Use an overview followed by separate grouped details for Frankfurt's steady growth and the less consistent patterns at the other airports.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary communicates general changes and comparisons, but 'commuters', 'passengers of airports', and several time expressions are imprecise.
Use accurate terms such as 'airport passengers', 'travellers using the airport', 'the following year', and 'over the period'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and mostly clear, though errors recur with plurals, articles, prepositions, and time-reference phrases.
Check forms such as 'ten million more passengers', 'in the following year', and 'the number of travellers at Dusseldorf'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. Airport visitors, 2007-2012 (millions of travellers per year) Dusseldorf 27.2 36.4 48.2 37.1 33.2 45.6 Frankfurt 36.5 41.9 44.4 47.3 51.1 69.3 Berlin Tegel 17.3 26.6 39.9 43.3
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