The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the sales in a coffee shop in a building on a particular weekday.
Overall, it is clear that the coffee shop has highest sales of all types of food and drink in the morning from 7.30 to 10.30 except sandwiches whereas the lowest sales for the coffee shop for all kinds of food and drink starts from 2.30 to 5.30 with an exception of pastries.
Firstly, the coffee shop sells more foods and drinks in the morning section that are coffee (265), tea (110) and pastries (275) than any other section. The coffee shop has their second highest sales in the last section which starts from 5.30 to 8.30 for most of their foods and drinks except pastries, which has the lowest sales among the four sections. It is then followed by the period from 10.30 to 2.30. Interestingly, sandwiches have its peak sales from 10.30 to 2.30 (200). The business hours with the least sales in foods and drinks start from 2.30 to 5.30.
Not forgetting to mention the fact that coffee is the best seller among all foods and drinks on a daily basis, it is followed by pastries. The third best seller in the shop is sandwiches and tea is the fourth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the task wording Original: sales in a coffee shop Suggested revision: sales made by a coffee shop Why it matters: The revised phrase states more precisely what the table records.
- 2. Retain key context Original: a building Suggested revision: an office building Why it matters: The task identifies the location specifically as an office building.
- 3. Use accurate timeframe Original: particular Suggested revision: typical Why it matters: The table represents a typical weekday rather than one particular day.
- 4. Add definite article Original: has highest sales Suggested revision: has the highest sales Why it matters: A superlative adjective requires the definite article ‘the’.
- 5. Clarify contrast Original: except sandwiches whereas Suggested revision: except for sandwiches, whereas Why it matters: ‘Except for’ is the correct construction, and a comma separates the contrasting clause.
- 6. Remove repetition Original: lowest sales for the coffee shop for all kinds of food and drink Suggested revision: lowest sales across all categories Why it matters: The shorter phrase avoids repeated wording while preserving the comparison.
- 7. Fix time construction Original: starts Suggested revision: occur Why it matters: Sales occur over a period; they do not ‘start from’ one time ‘to’ another.
- 8. Use concise exception Original: with an exception of pastries Suggested revision: except for pastries Why it matters: The shorter construction is more natural and direct.
- 9. Repair category phrase Original: more foods and drinks in the morning section that are Suggested revision: higher sales in the morning period, namely Why it matters: The revision compares sales quantities and introduces the listed categories grammatically.
- 10. Use time-period term Original: section Suggested revision: period Why it matters: ‘Period’ is more precise for the table’s time intervals.
- 11. Fix agreement Original: sandwiches have its Suggested revision: sandwiches reach their Why it matters: The plural subject ‘sandwiches’ requires the plural possessive ‘their’.
- 12. Integrate the figure Original: from 10.30 to 2.30 (200) Suggested revision: between 10.30 and 2.30, at 200 Why it matters: This wording integrates the time range and value smoothly into the sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- sales in a coffee shop sales made by a coffee shop
- a building an office building
- particular typical
- has highest sales has the highest sales
- except sandwiches whereas except for sandwiches, whereas
- lowest sales for the coffee shop for all kinds of food and drink lowest sales across all categories
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its accurate overview and sensible selection of the main peaks, low points, and overall product rankings. The main weakness is that some comparisons are expressed vaguely and several sentences contain awkward agreement or reference, which reduces precision despite generally clear meaning. Prioritise pairing each key comparison with exact figures while using clear subjects and consistent singular–plural agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview accurately identifies the principal highs and lows, and the response selects relevant daily totals and peak periods with only limited imprecision.
Support more of the period comparisons with exact paired figures, particularly when ranking the lunch and evening periods.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a logical overview-to-detail structure make the account easy to follow, despite occasional vague reference and mechanical linking.
Replace vague links such as ‘It is then followed’ with explicit subjects and group the detail paragraphs around time periods or products.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for sales and ranking comparisons, but expressions such as ‘morning section’ and ‘sales in foods and drinks’ are unnatural.
Use precise table language such as ‘time slot’, ‘units sold’, ‘recorded the highest figure’, and ‘the least popular item’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but agreement, pronoun, article, and sentence-boundary errors occur regularly.
Prioritise subject–verb and pronoun agreement, especially in phrases such as ‘sandwiches had their peak’ and ‘the shop recorded its sales’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.