The table below gives information about the rail transport in five countries in 2015.
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Sample Response
The table data provides statistics on rail transports in five countries including the number of railway passengers, average distance they crossed and cargo carried on railways in 2015. Overall, China and India had the largest number of railway passengers while Canadian railway carried the maximum amount of goods in the year 2015. Getting back to details, China had the largest railway passengers which accounted for 34 million while Indian railway passengers comprised 21 million. Malaysia had roughly 9 million passengers while Canada and the UAE had about 1 and 7.5 million rail commuters respectively in 2015. Despite having the least number of railway passengers, Canadian rail authority carried the highest goods. They carried over 34 billion tons of goods which were higher than the cargos carried by China rail authority (about 28 billion tons). Malaysian, Indian and UAE rail transported approximately 29, 21 and 24 billion cargos in 2015 respectively. China rail passengers crossed the highest distance on an average which was around 22 hundred kilometers and that was approximately 600 km higher than that of average distance travelled by an Indian rail passenger. Canadian passengers travelled the least, less than 100 km per head of its population while Malaysian and UAE citizens travelled a similar distance on the train.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise reference Original: table data Suggested revision: table Why it matters: The table already denotes the data, so the extra noun is unnecessary.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: transports Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: Transport is uncountable when referring to the rail system generally.
- 3. Describe the measure Original: average distance they crossed Suggested revision: average distance travelled per person Why it matters: This wording accurately identifies the table's passenger-kilometres-per-head measure.
- 4. Use possessive plural Original: Canadian railway Suggested revision: Canada's railways Why it matters: The country name needs a possessive form, and railways should be plural.
- 5. Remove wordiness Original: in the year 2015 Suggested revision: in 2015 Why it matters: The shorter time expression conveys the same information more naturally.
- 6. Use formal transition Original: Getting back to details Suggested revision: Looking at the details Why it matters: This transition is more appropriate for introducing detailed comparisons in a report.
- 7. Correct Canada value Original: about 1 and 7.5 million Suggested revision: about 0.9 and 7.5 million Why it matters: The table gives Canada's passenger figure as 0.9 million.
- 8. Use possessive form Original: Canadian rail authority Suggested revision: Canada's railways Why it matters: The original noun phrase lacks a possessive marker and unnecessarily implies one authority.
- 9. Use cargo collocation Original: carried the highest goods Suggested revision: carried the most cargo Why it matters: Cargo is the measured quantity, and most is the natural quantifier.
- 10. Fix agreement Original: goods which were higher Suggested revision: cargo, which was greater Why it matters: The comparison concerns the singular amount of cargo, so singular agreement is required.
- 11. Use uncountable cargo Original: cargos Suggested revision: cargo Why it matters: Cargo is uncountable in this context and should not take the plural form cargos.
- 12. Use possessive form Original: China rail authority Suggested revision: China's railways Why it matters: The country name needs a possessive form before the rail noun.
Suggested Rewrites
- table data table
- transports transport
- average distance they crossed average distance travelled per person
- Canadian railway Canada's railways
- in the year 2015 in 2015
- Getting back to details Looking at the details
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response selects the principal features from all three measures and supports them with largely accurate figures and useful comparisons. Its main limitation is language precision, especially inaccurate countability and collocations around passengers and cargo, while the lack of paragraph breaks makes the report visually dense. Prioritise grouping the overview and details into separate paragraphs and using exact measurement nouns and units consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report gives a clear overview and accurately covers the main passenger, distance, and cargo patterns with relevant comparisons.
Increase precision by stating Malaysia and the UAE's similar average distances numerically and preserving the table's exact measurement labels.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through passenger totals, cargo, and distance, but it lacks paragraph breaks and occasionally uses abrupt transitions.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group each set of related measures into clearly separated detail paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of transport and comparison vocabulary is used, though countability and collocation errors reduce accuracy.
Use precise forms such as "number of passengers," "amount of cargo," and "billion tons" rather than "cargos" or "billion cargos."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences communicate comparisons clearly, but errors with agreement, articles, reference, and noun phrases recur.
Check comparative clauses and noun heads so constructions such as "the number of passengers was highest" are grammatically complete.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about the rail transport in five countries in 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.