You work a part-time job in a company, and the company posted an advert seeking a person for a full-time position. Write a letter to your manager requesting to apply for the advertised position. In your letter: - say – Why do you want to apply? – - What are your future goals? – - Why would it be beneficial for the company?
Sample Response
Dear Mr. Collins,
My name is Lisa Prior and I have been working as a pharmacypharmacist assistant atin Publix for over 11 months. I am writing to you with reference to the full-time position of principal pharmacist that I have recently seen advertised.
I would like to applyopt for this position since I finished my Bachelor of Pharmacy degree last month, and am able to work full time. Additionally, the vast experience I have gained by working here side by side with Dr. Loon makes me a suitable candidate for this positionmakes me adequate for this position. Dr. LoonDr Loon is willing to provide you with all the necessary references regarding my performance at work.
Moreover, I am going to start a Master of Pharmacy degree next semester which will not affect my current work scheduleworking schedules at the pharmacy; however, having a better-prepared staff memberbetter prepared staff member may increase salesincrease the sales by providing professional advicethrough my providing professional advice to patients on a daily basis. As I prefer this pharmacy over the rest, I would like to continue my professional growth here.
Thank you for your attention, and I hope to receive a positive response to my application.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerelyFaithfully yours,
Lisa Prior
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter presents a persuasive, well-organised application that addresses the motivation, future plans, and potential benefit to the pharmacy in a consistently professional tone. Its main limitation is occasional imprecise or unnatural word choice, especially when describing suitability and work arrangements. The highest-priority improvement is to replace these awkward collocations with more idiomatic professional phrasing while preserving the strong development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The application has a clear purpose and develops all three requested points with relevant qualifications, plans, and benefits to the company.
Make the commercial benefit slightly more concrete by explaining how professional advice could improve customer trust or sales.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical sequence, and paragraphs separate the application, qualifications, future plans, and closing effectively.
Divide the densely packed third paragraph so the future goal and benefit to the company each receive sharper emphasis.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and suitably professional, although collocations such as “makes me adequate” and “working schedules” sound unnatural.
Use more idiomatic choices such as “makes me well qualified” and “work schedule” to improve precision and naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of sentence forms is handled accurately, including complex clauses and controlled subordination, with only minor lapses.
Review long sentences for cleaner clause boundaries and avoid omissions such as the subject before “am able to work full time.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work a part-time job in a company, and the company posted an advert seeking a person for a full-time position. Write a letter to your manager requesting to apply for the advertised position. In your letter:
- say – Why do you want to apply? –
- What are your future goals? –
- Why would it be beneficial for the company?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.