Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Same question Compare 2 different answers

Sample Response

In today’s modern world, many students are going to university immediately after they finish school. However, the numbers of boys and girls studying in the universities are always not equal which leads to the assertion by the public that universities should receive the identical numbers of both genders in every course that they provide. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this claim.

Admittedly, every country around the globe is trying to promote the equality between genders so as to ensure that both genders can access to the facilities or resources. In the past, in many countries, girls are less likely to have the opportunity to further their studies which caused mainly by the narrow-minded of the society. For example, in China, many parents who have daughters often ask their daughters to sacrifice their studies and start to work since they are young. It is owing to the reason that they think that their sons are always more talented and knowledgeable than their daughters. Thus, it is crucial for all the universities worldwide to accept the same numbers of male and female students in order to promote equality between the genders.

Undeniably, everyone in the society can contribute to the nation regardless of gender. According to a recent study conducted in Columbia, the result has shown that girls have the same ability as the boys in terms of contribution to the country. It is further explained by a researcher that the female students are actually smarter than the male students based on their academic performances in universities. Hence, it is clearly shown that the girls should not be discriminated and therefore, be given the same chance as the boys to attend to university. In addition, there are some work fields which require more female employees than male workers due to the characteristics of more considerate and higher endurance. Thus the

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Name student groups Original: the numbers of boys and girls Suggested revision: the numbers of male and female students Why it matters: The revision uses terms appropriate for university students.
  • 2. Use university preposition Original: studying in the universities Suggested revision: studying at universities Why it matters: Students study at universities, and the generic plural takes no article.
  • 3. Place frequency adverb Original: are always not equal Suggested revision: are not always equal Why it matters: The adverb belongs after not in this qualified statement.
  • 4. Use admissions wording Original: receive the identical numbers Suggested revision: admit equal numbers Why it matters: Universities admit students rather than receive numbers.
  • 5. Remove repeated stance marker Original: In my opinion, I strongly agree Suggested revision: I strongly agree Why it matters: I strongly agree already marks the writer's opinion.
  • 6. Remove abstract article Original: promote the equality Suggested revision: promote equality Why it matters: Equality is used as an uncountable abstract noun here.
  • 7. Remove verb preposition Original: can access to the facilities Suggested revision: can access the facilities Why it matters: The verb access takes a direct object without to.
  • 8. Use direct cause phrase Original: It is owing to the reason that Suggested revision: This is because Why it matters: This is because states the cause directly and naturally.
  • 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: all the universities worldwide Suggested revision: universities worldwide Why it matters: The generic plural does not require all the.
  • 10. Remove generic article Original: everyone in the society Suggested revision: everyone in society Why it matters: Society is used generically and does not require the.
  • 11. Use plural research result Original: the result has shown Suggested revision: the results show Why it matters: Research findings are naturally expressed with the plural present form.
  • 12. Use generic plural ability Original: the same ability as the boys Suggested revision: the same abilities as boys Why it matters: The general comparison uses plural abilities and no article before boys.

Suggested Rewrites

  • the numbers of boys and girls the numbers of male and female students
  • studying in the universities studying at universities
  • are always not equal are not always equal
  • receive the identical numbers admit equal numbers
  • In my opinion, I strongly agree I strongly agree
  • promote the equality promote equality
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.0

The response’s strongest aspect is its clear support for gender equality and its attempt to justify wider access through social and educational examples. Its main limitation is fundamental: it ends mid-sentence without a conclusion and discusses equal opportunity more than the exact proposal of fixed equal enrolment in every subject. The highest-priority improvement is to complete the essay and directly evaluate the practical merits and drawbacks of subject-by-subject quotas.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

5.0
Scoring rule

A clear position and relevant equality arguments are present, but the exact every-subject quota is insufficiently examined and the response is unfinished.

Next step

Complete the argument and assess whether fixed equal numbers are workable or fair when applications and qualifications differ by subject.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.0
Scoring rule

The introduction and first two body paragraphs follow a recognisable sequence, but the abrupt mid-sentence ending leaves the progression incomplete.

Next step

Finish the second argument and add a conclusion that clearly resolves the discussion of equal enrolment quotas.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

The response has enough vocabulary to discuss equality, discrimination, opportunity, and contribution, but frequent awkward choices reduce accuracy.

Next step

Use natural forms such as “gender equality,” “access facilities,” and “social narrow-mindedness,” and avoid unsupported comparative claims.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.0
Scoring rule

Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in tense, articles, passive forms, prepositions, and sentence completion weaken control.

Next step

Prioritise complete sentences and revise each clause for tense consistency, articles, and accurate passive construction.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

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