Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Response

Some people argue that subjects offered by the universities should be filled by equal numbers of male and female students. However, since it is already 21st century and gender seems to be not a big deal anymore, thus, in my opinion it is no longer about accepting an equal number of men and women in every subject but it is more about giving an equal opportunity for both male and female students to choose what they want to study.

To begin with, everyone has the right to the education and in fact attending a university needs much more consideration to take. All students, including male and female, who want to go to a university tend to put a lot of effort preparing their entrance. Since no one can choose what sex they were born to be, then it will be really unfair if the universities consider gender as the criteria in accepting students.

Besides, nowadays men and women can take any job, learn any skill and study any major that they want to. For instance, engineering sectors now welcome both men and women students. Another example is fashion industry which is though apparently more dominated by male designers, women can easily pick a career in this sector as well. As a result, there is no limit for particular sex to take over one particular field and university should take a look at it as a reason to open more chances for both genders.

Therefore, in conclusion, male and female need to be more encouraged to study based on their interest and capability rather than a stigma of which one is the best for them according to their gender.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Add century article Original: it is already 21st century Suggested revision: it is already the 21st century Why it matters: An ordinal century requires the definite article “the.”
  • 2. Place negation correctly Original: gender seems to be not Suggested revision: gender does not seem to be Why it matters: Negation belongs before “seem” in this construction.
  • 3. Use academic wording Original: a big deal anymore Suggested revision: a significant issue anymore Why it matters: “A big deal” is too informal for an academic essay.
  • 4. Remove double connector Original: thus, in my opinion Suggested revision: in my opinion Why it matters: The preceding “since” clause already marks the relationship, so “thus” is redundant.
  • 5. Fix number and preposition Original: giving an equal opportunity for both Suggested revision: giving equal opportunities to both Why it matters: Multiple students require plural “opportunities,” and the recipient takes “to.”
  • 6. Remove generic article Original: the right to the education Suggested revision: the right to education Why it matters: “Education” takes no article when used generally.
  • 7. Fix preparation phrase Original: put a lot of effort preparing their entrance Suggested revision: put considerable effort into preparing for admission Why it matters: The natural pattern is “put effort into,” and students prepare for admission rather than “their entrance.”
  • 8. Use natural birth phrase Original: what sex they were born to be Suggested revision: which sex they were born as Why it matters: The original infinitive construction is not idiomatic.
  • 9. Remove redundant then Original: then it will be really unfair Suggested revision: it will be unfair Why it matters: The initial “Since” clause already introduces the consequence.
  • 10. Use singular criterion Original: gender as the criteria Suggested revision: gender as a criterion Why it matters: One standard of selection is a “criterion,” not “criteria.”
  • 11. Name academic programmes Original: sectors Suggested revision: programmes Why it matters: The context concerns fields of university study rather than employment sectors.
  • 12. Use adjectival forms Original: men and women students Suggested revision: male and female students Why it matters: “Male” and “female” function naturally as adjectives before “students.”

Suggested Rewrites

  • it is already 21st century it is already the 21st century
  • gender seems to be not gender does not seem to be
  • a big deal anymore a significant issue anymore
  • thus, in my opinion in my opinion
  • giving an equal opportunity for both giving equal opportunities to both
  • the right to the education the right to education
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The essay maintains a clear, relevant position that universities should guarantee equal opportunity rather than impose equal male and female numbers in every subject. Its strongest point is the merit-based argument that gender should not determine admission, supported by examples of access across fields. The main limitation is uneven development and frequent awkward language; prioritise explaining how fixed quotas could conflict with applicant numbers and merit, using one accurate subject-based example.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear disagreement position is sustained and supported by relevant ideas about equal opportunity, merit, and freedom of subject choice, though examples are not fully developed.

Next step

Explain directly why a compulsory fifty-fifty intake could exclude stronger applicants when interest or application numbers differ by subject.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The essay follows a logical introduction–reason–example–conclusion sequence, and each paragraph has a recognisable purpose despite some loose internal links.

Next step

Give the second body paragraph a clearer topic sentence about unrestricted career choice and connect each example explicitly to admissions policy.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is adequate for gender, education, admissions, and careers, but frequent unnatural collocations reduce precision.

Next step

Use equal representation, admission criteria, prepare for entrance examinations, field of study, equal access, and based on interest and ability.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the argument, but agreement, articles, clause structure, pronouns, and punctuation contain recurring errors.

Next step

Correct forms such as the twenty-first century, gender is no longer decisive, criterion, students of both sexes, and universities should offer.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

Words0
40:00

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