Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss.
Sample Response
Globalization is a comparatively newer trend and it has brought countless benefits to our modern life. The brighter side of globalization reduces the disparity and distance between countries around the world whereas the darker side also needs assessment carefully.
Obviously, with the impact of globalization trade and travel around the world have become easier, comfortable and easily accessible. Air route travel is now affordable to common people within a fraction of hours people can reach their destiny. Branded International products are available to all countries, for instance, people can buy Mac Donald's products from their own local market. Trade and industry have dramatically developed and created gigantic job vacancies. The relationship between the nations has improved and nations can now easily maintain a friendly relationship with other. Thus the economic disparity between the nations has been narrowed with the advantages of globalization.
On the other hand, it is argued that the wealthier countries are becoming wealthier due to the advantages they are getting from globalization. They can begin their roots in developing or underdeveloped countries and utilise the natural raw materials from there and become more and more affluent. Coca-Cola Company in India is the greatest illustration to this. With the impact of globalization more and more new products are being available in market and people have choices. As a result, there is a greater competition in the market. Consequently, local trades might not survive in long run and this has negative consequences on many local businesses. Brain drain seems to have become a common policy and phenomenon observed throughout the all developing countries. The local traditions and cultures are in jeopardy due to the enormous influence of world media and TV channels.
Putting everything into consideration, although there are many cones of globalization, I believe that the pros are more prominent and obvious. It is a welcoming trend due to the advantages it offers. As long the international bonding is strong, it is a positive trend and the chances of conflict between the nations have declined which would present a better world to the upcoming generations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise age comparison Original: a comparatively newer trend Suggested revision: a relatively new trend Why it matters: Newer requires an explicit comparison, while relatively new expresses the intended recency.
- 2. Use plural lives Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive our naturally refers to multiple people's lives.
- 3. Use direct benefit term Original: The brighter side of globalization Suggested revision: The benefits of globalization Why it matters: The direct noun avoids an unnecessary figurative contrast.
- 4. Use adjective noun phrase Original: needs assessment carefully Suggested revision: needs careful assessment Why it matters: Careful must modify the noun assessment.
- 5. Close introductory phrase Original: with the impact of globalization trade Suggested revision: with the impact of globalization, trade Why it matters: A comma separates the introductory phrase from the subject trade.
- 6. Keep adjectives parallel Original: easier, comfortable and easily accessible Suggested revision: easier, more comfortable, and more accessible Why it matters: The coordinated complements should all use parallel comparative adjectives.
- 7. Use standard travel term Original: Air route travel Suggested revision: Air travel Why it matters: Air travel is the conventional term.
- 8. Fix affordability preposition Original: affordable to common people Suggested revision: affordable for ordinary people Why it matters: Affordable takes for before the people who can pay.
- 9. Fix capitalization Original: International Suggested revision: international Why it matters: International is a common adjective here and should be lowercase.
- 10. Fix availability preposition Original: to Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Products are available in places, not available to countries.
- 11. Correct brand spelling Original: Mac Donald's products Suggested revision: McDonald's products Why it matters: The brand name is conventionally spelled McDonald's.
- 12. Use employment phrase Original: gigantic job vacancies Suggested revision: many job opportunities Why it matters: Gigantic does not naturally describe a number of vacancies.
Suggested Rewrites
- a comparatively newer trend a relatively new trend
- life lives
- The brighter side of globalization The benefits of globalization
- needs assessment carefully needs careful assessment
- with the impact of globalization trade with the impact of globalization, trade
- easier, comfortable and easily accessible easier, more comfortable, and more accessible
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response examines a substantial range of benefits and drawbacks of globalisation and states clearly that its advantages are more significant. Paragraphing and overall progression are effective, but several points are asserted broadly rather than explained, and frequent inaccurate collocations weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer claims more carefully, showing exactly how one economic benefit and one local-business or cultural cost arise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The prompt is addressed from both sides with a clear positive judgement, but support is uneven and the Coca-Cola example is not explained.
Show the causal link between global trade and one benefit, then explain how multinational expansion affects a specific local business or community.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with logical overall progression despite some loosely connected points.
Keep each paragraph centred on one controlling idea and connect examples directly to the claim they support.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for economic and cultural issues, but frequent awkward collocations and incorrect word choices reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as expand operations, local businesses, employment opportunities, disadvantages, and international cooperation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains generally clear, but errors in articles, agreement, clause boundaries, word forms, and fixed grammatical patterns occur regularly.
Edit each complex sentence for complete clauses and correct determiners, especially around comparisons and cause-and-effect statements.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.