Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss.
Sample Response
People hold mixed opinions aboutMixed opinions exist among people in relation to how globalisation influences the economies of the world. Some argue that it is evident that globalisation has brought dramatic economic growthgrowths and more employment opportunities around the world, particularly in developing countriesin the developing countries. However, critics have raised concernsthere are criticisms raised to remind people of negative impacts caused by globalisationnegative impacts that are caused by globalisation.
The economy and employmentEconomy and employment have been thriving in some developing countries for the 30 years sincefor the last 30 years since globalisation first took holdglobalisation first formed its concept. Countries such as ChinaCountries, such as China, India, and South Africa, which had once struggled with economic developmentdevelopments, were significantly affected whenare largely affected when many large international corporationsmost giant international corporations moved to nations where tax rates are lower and labour costs are lowerlabour rates are cheaper. This corporate relocationThis particular wave has created substantial business activityenormous new businesses in less developed countries. Therefore, both economies and employmentboth economics and employments have grown significantlyhave been promoted significantly by globalisation.
However, some economists and sociologists believe that globalisation has not created jobs globally; rather, it simply shifted employment opportunities from developed countries to developing countries. As a result, when China is experiencing high job growth, The United States, on the other hand, is suffering from the high unemployment rate. They also claim that globalisation encourages dependence on other countries, meaning that ifdependency on other countries so that if one country’s economy collapses, it is very likely that other countries’ economies will be damaged as well. The 2008 global economic crisis demonstratedhad well demonstrated how this dependent relationship had harmful effects across countriesworked very negatively among countries during the crisis.
In conclusion, globalisation plays a major role in pushing economic and employment developments forward in developing countries; however, evidence has suggested that it has negative impacts on industrialised countries in terms of economic and labour market growths. Moreover, the unhealthy dependence among countries is another concern in relation to globalisation.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a balanced, well-developed assessment of globalisation, explaining job creation in developing economies alongside employment displacement and international financial dependency. Its argument progresses clearly and uses a relevant real-world example, while the main limitation is recurring imprecision in collocations, plural forms, and tense choices. The highest priority is to preserve the strong analysis while editing economic terminology and grammatical forms for consistently natural academic expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly examines positive and negative economic effects and supports its balanced view with relevant explanation and a specific crisis example.
State the writer's final judgement more explicitly by indicating whether the benefits outweigh the risks or require particular safeguards.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and contrast, cause, and example links are managed effectively throughout.
Tighten the opening and conclusion so the central evaluative position is signalled as clearly as the progression between body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of economic vocabulary conveys complex relationships, though several unnatural collocations and unnecessary plurals reduce precision.
Use economic growth, economic development, employment, labour costs, and multinational corporations consistently as standard academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex structures with generally good control, but article, tense, agreement, and noun-number errors remain noticeable.
Edit tense sequences and countability, especially since globalisation emerged, economies have grown, employment has increased, and the crisis demonstrated.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.