Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss.
Sample Response
Globalization has benefited most of the countries. However, everything has two sides, globalization may also have disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss both the pros and cons of globalization in today's world.
First of all, globalization has greatly influenced the world's economy in many positive ways. Most of the businesses are becoming increasingly international. Globalization allows a free trade practice. With the unlimited export of goods, the market of a country will get larger. The unlimited import will also allow citizens to have access to imported products. Furthermore, with foreign investments in a country, a rise in employment will follow. No one can deny that the positive aspects of globalization will help the countries' economy to prosper. Moreover, if more people will be employed, this could result in a low poverty rate in the developing countries, like the Philippines.
On the other end of the spectrum, globalization may also harm business industry of other countries that cannot compete for as much versus the multinational companies. Thus, small business and medium scale establishments may have to close down. As a result, globalization can also lead to unemployment and exploitation. Followed by this, other companies may move to other countries where labour is cheap. Because of the globalization, the traditional way of life and simplicity are getting washed away and people in developing countries are mimicking the western cultures which might lead to a devastating situation on a countries heritage and tradition. The locally made products are being replaced by the international brands and that has a very negative and long-term effect on a countries business growth.
In conclusion, I believe that globalization as a concept has noble intentions and is beneficial to countries that have developed fully and are ready to compete in the world market. Nevertheless, governments and companies should use a fair approach by taking appropriate steps for the country to become ready and to engage in a free trade economy around the world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove general article Original: most of the countries Suggested revision: most countries Why it matters: Most directly determines a general plural noun without of the.
- 2. Use global economy term Original: world's Suggested revision: world Why it matters: World functions naturally as the modifier for the global economy.
- 3. Remove general article Original: Most of the businesses Suggested revision: Most businesses Why it matters: The general plural reference does not require of the.
- 4. Use trade collocation Original: allows a free trade practice Suggested revision: facilitates free trade Why it matters: Facilitates free trade expresses the claimed effect directly and naturally.
- 5. Use possessive form Original: the market of a country Suggested revision: a country's market Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and natural.
- 6. Use plural imports Original: The unlimited import Suggested revision: Unrestricted imports Why it matters: Imports is normally plural when referring generally to goods brought into a country.
- 7. Use uncountable investment Original: investments Suggested revision: investment Why it matters: Investment is normally uncountable when referring generally to economic inflows.
- 8. State outcome directly Original: a rise in employment will follow Suggested revision: employment will rise Why it matters: The direct verb phrase is clearer and less wordy.
- 9. Fix plural agreement Original: economy Suggested revision: economies Why it matters: Multiple countries require the plural noun economies.
- 10. Fix conditional tense Original: if more people will be employed Suggested revision: if more people are employed Why it matters: The if-clause takes the present simple for a possible future result.
- 11. Express comparative change Original: low Suggested revision: lower Why it matters: The argument describes a reduction from an existing level, which requires the comparative.
- 12. Remove general article Original: in the developing countries Suggested revision: in developing countries Why it matters: The general plural category does not take the article the.
Suggested Rewrites
- most of the countries most countries
- world's world
- Most of the businesses Most businesses
- allows a free trade practice facilitates free trade
- the market of a country a country's market
- The unlimited import Unrestricted imports
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a balanced discussion of globalisation's economic benefits and its risks to local businesses and culture, and the conclusion presents a clear qualified view. Its main limitation is that several points remain broad or overgeneralised, while recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one concrete example on each side and edit complex sentences for more accurate, natural expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both positive and negative effects and states a clear qualified position, though some support remains general.
Use specific evidence to show how foreign investment creates benefits and how multinational competition harms a particular local sector.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into contrasting sides and a conclusion, with clear overall progression despite some mechanical linking.
Make relationships within the disadvantages paragraph more explicit, particularly the shift from business competition to labour and cultural effects.
Lexical Resource
There is a sufficient range of economic and cultural vocabulary, but several awkward collocations and imprecise phrases reduce naturalness.
Replace expressions such as unlimited import, business industry, and noble intentions with precise academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures conveys meaning clearly, although agreement, article, possessive, conditional, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Proofread complex sentences for clause boundaries and correct forms, especially plural possessives and conditional verb patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.