Wild animals have no use in the 21 st century and trying to preserve animals now is just a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Some individuals think that preserving wild animals is futile in modern times since they serve no purpose, and it is a squandering of resources to do so. However, I strongly disagree with this opinion and believe that preserving wild animals is crucial for maintaining the balance of our ecosystem and promoting ecological sustainability.
Firstly, wild animals play a crucial role in the food chain and ecological balance. For instance, predators such as lions, tigers, and wolves are essential for controlling the population of herbivores, which in turn help to regulate the growth of plants and prevent overgrazing. Furthermore, wild animals such as bees and birds play an important role in pollinating plants and trees, which is essential for agriculture and the production of food.
Secondly, preserving wild animals and their habitats is essential for promoting biodiversity. The loss of biodiversity can lead to the extinction of species and can have negative impacts on ecosystems and human societies. For example, the loss of bees and other pollinators could result in a significant decrease in food production and a decline in the agricultural industry.
Finally, wild animals are also valuable assets for the tourism industry, contributing significantly to the economy of many countries. Many people travel to different parts of the world to see and experience wildlife, and this generates income for the local communities and governments.
In conclusion, preserving wild animals is crucial for maintaining ecological balance, promoting biodiversity, and supporting the economy. It is our responsibility to protect and conserve the natural environment and the wildlife that inhabit it for future generations to come.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise terminology Original: maintaining the balance of our ecosystem Suggested revision: maintaining ecological balance Why it matters: The concise term expresses the same concept without implying that humanity has only one ecosystem.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: controlling the population of herbivores Suggested revision: controlling herbivore populations Why it matters: The plural noun phrase is more concise and suits the general ecological claim.
- 3. Clarify the connection Original: which in turn help to regulate Suggested revision: thereby helping to regulate Why it matters: This wording more clearly links herbivore control to its effect on plant growth.
- 4. Avoid commercial redundancy Original: valuable assets for the tourism industry Suggested revision: valuable to the tourism industry Why it matters: The adjective directly expresses the economic value without the unnecessary noun ‘assets’.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: for the local communities and governments Suggested revision: for local communities and governments Why it matters: The general plural reference does not require the definite article.
- 6. Fix subject agreement Original: inhabit Suggested revision: inhabits Why it matters: The mass noun ‘wildlife’ takes the singular verb ‘inhabits’.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: future generations to come Suggested revision: future generations Why it matters: ‘Future generations’ already refers to people who are yet to come.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Some individuals think that preserving wild animals is futile in modern times since they serve no purpose, and it is a squandering of resources to do so. Suggested revision: Some individuals think that preserving wild animals is futile today because the animals serve no purpose and conservation wastes resources. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the unclear pronouns and replaces the awkward phrase ‘a squandering of resources’.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Furthermore, wild animals such as bees and birds play an important role in pollinating plants and trees, which is essential for agriculture and the production of food. Suggested revision: Furthermore, wild animals such as bees and birds play an important role in pollinating vegetation, a process that is essential for agriculture and food production. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the plants-and-trees redundancy and gives the relative clause a clear referent.
- 10. Link income to wildlife Suggested revision: Begin the second sentence with a reference such as ‘This wildlife tourism’ to connect the travel example directly to the economic claim. Why it matters: A clear reference would tighten the progression from tourism activity to local income.
Suggested Rewrites
- maintaining the balance of our ecosystem maintaining ecological balance
- controlling the population of herbivores controlling herbivore populations
- which in turn help to regulate thereby helping to regulate
- valuable assets for the tourism industry valuable to the tourism industry
- for the local communities and governments for local communities and governments
- inhabit inhabits
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay takes an unequivocal position and supports it with three relevant, logically developed reasons concerning ecological balance, biodiversity and tourism. Its strongest feature is the clear cause-and-effect explanation, particularly around predator control and pollination; the main limitation is some repetition between the first two ecological arguments. The priority is to distinguish those points more sharply and add slightly more specific support to the economic argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported through well-developed ecological, biodiversity and economic arguments with relevant examples.
Differentiate biodiversity more clearly from ecological balance and develop the tourism point with one specific illustrative outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses smoothly through three distinct reasons, with purposeful paragraphs and clear internal sequencing.
Reduce the slight conceptual overlap between the first two body paragraphs by giving each a more sharply defined focus.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of environmental and economic vocabulary is used naturally, with only rare awkward phrasing.
Refine expressions such as "a squandering of resources" to the more natural "a wasteful use of resources".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and well controlled, with the great majority of structures error-free and meaning consistently precise.
Maintain this control while trimming minor redundancies such as "future generations to come".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Wild animals have no use in the 21 st century and trying to preserve animals now is just a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.