Some people think that robots are very important to humans’ future development, but others think that they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The rise of robots ignites a fiery debate – are they our saviours, paving the path to a brighter future, or harbingers of doom, casting a shadow of technological dystopia? While concerns about their potential dangers hold merit, embracing their transformative potential with careful stewardship offers humanity a far more likely, and far more desirable, outcome, I believe.
Those who fear robots point to the unsettling spectre of automation-fueled unemployment and the erosion of human control. Visions of jobless masses and sentient machines turning on their creators fuel anxieties about a robot-dominated future. The increasing automation of factories and the burgeoning field of artificial intelligence undoubtedly pose challenges, potentially displacing certain workforces.
Conversely, another group of people point out that in industries like healthcare, robots can assist in delicate surgeries, tirelessly monitor patients, and even offer companionship to the lonely. Imagine a world where robots, equipped with artificial empathy, become invaluable caregivers for the elderly, freeing up human healthcare workers for more complex tasks. Additionally, in hazardous environments, from deep-sea exploration to bomb disposal, robots can take on the riskiest jobs, safeguarding human lives. History has shown that technological advancements often create new job opportunities that we can not even imagine today. Just as the Industrial Revolution birthed new professions, the robotics revolution can usher in an era of innovation and demand for skills in areas like programming, robotics engineering, and ethical oversight.
I believe that the fear of robots stems from a misplaced apprehension towards the unknown. It is not the robots themselves that pose a threat, but our own failure to manage their development and deployment responsibly. By prioritizing ethical considerations, ensuring equitable access to the benefits of automation, and investing in reskilling programs, we can ensure that robots become partners in progress, not harbingers of doom.
In conclusion, while the rise of robots presents legitimate concerns, their potential to improve our lives is far greater. By embracing them with responsible stewardship, we can weave a future where humans and machines collaborate, not compete, paving the way for a brighter, more prosperous, and ultimately, more humane tomorrow.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral wording Original: jobless masses Suggested revision: large-scale unemployment Why it matters: The replacement conveys the concern in a more measured academic register.
- 2. Reduce dramatic phrasing Original: sentient machines turning on their creators Suggested revision: autonomous machines acting against human interests Why it matters: The revision states the perceived risk more precisely and formally.
- 3. Name affected workers Original: certain workforces Suggested revision: workers in certain sectors Why it matters: Workforces are collective labour pools, so the original wording does not naturally denote people being displaced.
- 4. Fix subject agreement Original: point Suggested revision: points Why it matters: The head noun group is singular and therefore takes points.
- 5. Use precise collocation Original: delicate surgeries Suggested revision: delicate surgical procedures Why it matters: Surgical procedures is a more precise formal collocation for the operations described.
- 6. Use formal verb Original: birthed Suggested revision: created Why it matters: Created maintains a more consistent academic register than the figurative birthed.
- 7. Correct preposition Original: towards Suggested revision: about Why it matters: Apprehension normally takes about when it means anxiety concerning something.
- 8. Moderate the tone Original: ignites a fiery debate Suggested revision: has prompted intense debate Why it matters: The revision retains the strength of the claim in a more measured academic register.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: path Suggested revision: way Why it matters: Pave the way is the conventional collocation for enabling future progress.
- 10. Use precise wording Original: or harbingers of doom Suggested revision: or serious threats Why it matters: Serious threats states the opposing view more directly and with less rhetorical exaggeration.
- 11. Use considerate phrasing Original: offer companionship to the lonely Suggested revision: provide companionship for lonely people Why it matters: The replacement uses a natural collocation and avoids reducing people to a condition.
- 12. Make the claim concise Original: job opportunities that we can not even imagine today Suggested revision: jobs that are difficult to anticipate today Why it matters: The revision expresses unpredictability more concisely and formally.
Suggested Rewrites
- jobless masses large-scale unemployment
- sentient machines turning on their creators autonomous machines acting against human interests
- certain workforces workers in certain sectors
- point points
- delicate surgeries delicate surgical procedures
- birthed created
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response fully engages with both perspectives and sustains a persuasive opinion through well-chosen examples from employment, healthcare, hazardous work, and workforce adaptation. Its strongest feature is the fluent integration of complex ideas into a clear argument; the main limitation is occasional rhetorical excess and slight repetition. For greater precision, replace repeated dramatic imagery with more measured analysis and add one concrete qualification to the employment discussion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly examined, the writer's position is unambiguous, and the arguments are extensively supported with relevant examples and solutions.
Refine the employment discussion by distinguishing jobs likely to disappear from those likely to change or emerge.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses smoothly from risks to benefits and responsible management, with cohesive devices and paragraphing used very effectively.
Trim a small amount of repeated framing in the final two paragraphs so the conclusion feels even more concise and decisive.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and highly flexible, with sophisticated topic language and only occasional overdramatic or repeated phrasing.
Use vivid expressions such as 'harbingers of doom' more selectively and favour neutral analytical wording where it sharpens the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately and naturally, with only rare minor lapses that do not affect communication.
Polish the few awkward constructions, particularly the delayed 'I believe' in the introduction and agreement around collective noun phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that robots are very important to humans’ future development, but others think that they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.