Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy for them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Sample Response
Allowing children to have pets has been a topic of debate for many years, with some people arguing that it is highly beneficial for children, while others opining that it is detrimental and unhealthy for them. This essay explores both perspectives and gives reasons why this could be harmful to children.
According to some, pets can provide many benefits for children. They can provide companionship and teach compassion. This is particularly true for children who have developmental issues or have working parents with no siblings. For instance, working parents often choose a friendly pet for their children, and this pet acts as a constant companion for the children. This helps them enjoy their time and learn social skills like compassion, sensibility and responsibility.
On the contrary, allowing pets, according to a group of people, has more harmful effects on young children. They believe that pets can be a distraction from important activities such as homework and study. Children may become so focused on playing with or taking care of their pets that they neglect their schoolwork. Additionally, some pets can be dangerous to children, especially if they are not properly trained or supervised. For example, dogs can bite and scratch, and cats can scratch and transmit diseases such as toxoplasmosis. Another reason why keeping pets can be detrimental to children is that they can be unhealthy. Pets can carry germs and parasites that can make children sick, especially if they have weakened immune systems. Additionally, some pets can trigger allergies and asthma, which can have serious health consequences.
In conclusion, while keeping pets can provide some benefits for children, it is ultimately a flawed idea due to the potential distractions, dangers, and health risks they pose. Instead, children should be encouraged to engage in other activities that promote responsibility and compassion, such as volunteering or participating in community service.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add finite verb Original: opining Suggested revision: opine Why it matters: The coordinated clause requires the finite verb “opine,” not the participle “opining”.
- 2. Clarify vague reference Original: why this could be harmful to children Suggested revision: why keeping pets could be harmful to children Why it matters: Naming the practice directly removes the ambiguous reference “this”.
- 3. Name viewpoint directly Original: According to some Suggested revision: Supporters argue that Why it matters: The direct attribution introduces the positive view more clearly.
- 4. Avoid repeated noun Original: acts as a constant companion for the children Suggested revision: acts as a constant companion for them Why it matters: The pronoun removes the unnecessary repetition of “the children”.
- 5. Clarify time reference Original: enjoy their time Suggested revision: enjoy their free time Why it matters: “Free time” specifies the leisure period intended by the sentence.
- 6. Choose correct quality Original: compassion, sensibility and responsibility Suggested revision: compassion, sensitivity, and responsibility Why it matters: “Sensitivity” denotes awareness of others' feelings, whereas “sensibility” means sound judgment.
- 7. Use paired contrast marker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: “On the other hand” correctly introduces the second of two views.
- 8. Use parallel nouns Original: study Suggested revision: studying Why it matters: The gerund “studying” naturally names the activity alongside doing homework.
- 9. State health risk clearly Original: they can be unhealthy Suggested revision: they can pose health risks Why it matters: Pets themselves are not described as unhealthy; they may create risks to children's health.
- 10. Clarify pronoun reference Original: if they have weakened immune systems Suggested revision: if the children have weakened immune systems Why it matters: The explicit noun prevents “they” from being misread as referring to the pets.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: They can provide companionship and teach compassion. Suggested revision: Pets can offer companionship while teaching children compassion. Why it matters: The rewrite names the subject and makes the two benefits flow as one relationship.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This is particularly true for children who have developmental issues or have working parents with no siblings. Suggested revision: This may be particularly true for children with developmental needs, working parents, or no siblings. Why it matters: The rewrite prevents “with no siblings” from incorrectly modifying the parents and creates a parallel list.
Suggested Rewrites
- opining opine
- why this could be harmful to children why keeping pets could be harmful to children
- According to some Supporters argue that
- acts as a constant companion for the children acts as a constant companion for them
- enjoy their time enjoy their free time
- compassion, sensibility and responsibility compassion, sensitivity, and responsibility
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear opinion and develops the dangers and health risks of pets through specific, relevant examples, while also acknowledging companionship and responsibility. Its main limitation is imbalance: the benefits receive much less development, and a few awkward lexical choices reduce naturalness. The priority is to explain the positive view with comparable depth before weighing both sides and justifying the final preference.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, with detailed support for risks but noticeably less development of the benefits.
Extend the positive case beyond companionship by explaining how caring for a pet builds responsibility, then weigh that benefit against the risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in clearly focused paragraphs, and the movement from benefits to drawbacks and judgment is easy to follow.
Signal the internal progression of the longer drawbacks paragraph more economically so its three concerns remain clearly distinct.
Lexical Resource
A broad, topic-appropriate vocabulary communicates social, behavioral, and health effects, though several choices are awkward or imprecise.
Replace unnatural wording such as "others opining," "sensibility," and "a flawed idea" with more precise academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately, with only occasional awkward structures and reference issues that do not impede meaning.
Refine introductory participle structures and ensure pronouns such as "they" refer unambiguously to pets or children.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy for them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.