Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In the contemporary world, technology has revolutionised how individuals interact and form relationships. Social media platforms, messaging apps, and virtual communities have significantly changed the dynamics of human connections. While these tools offer new ways of engaging with others, I believe this transformation has had largely negative consequences on the depth and authenticity of relationships.
Technology has reshaped the types of relationships people form by making communication faster and more convenient but also more superficial. Individuals now tend to engage more frequently in digital interactions rather than face-to-face conversations. For instance, many people communicate through short messages or social media updates, often at the expense of deep, meaningful exchanges. Additionally, online platforms have led to the creation of virtual friendships where people may never meet in real life. Although such connections may appear vast in number, they often lack emotional closeness and reliability.
This shift, in my view, has negatively impacted the quality of relationships. Overreliance on digital communication can result in weakened social skills and a diminished capacity for empathy. For example, younger generations may find it challenging to navigate complex emotions or resolve conflicts in person due to their limited exposure to real-world interactions. Furthermore, people are increasingly distracted during in-person gatherings, choosing to engage with their devices rather than those physically present, which reduces the strength of interpersonal bonds. For instance, it is common to see family members or friends sitting together at a restaurant while each person is focused on their phone, scrolling through social media or replying to messages, rather than engaging in real conversation with one another.
In conclusion, although technology has changed the way relationships are formed and maintained, I believe it has done more harm than good. The convenience it offers comes at the cost of genuine human connection, making this a largely negative development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a more natural phrase Original: dynamics of human connections Suggested revision: nature of human relationships Why it matters: This phrase is more direct and idiomatic in the discussion of relationships.
- 2. Correct the preposition Original: on Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The noun “consequences” takes “for” when identifying who or what is affected.
- 3. Complete the comparison Original: rather than face-to-face conversations Suggested revision: than in face-to-face conversations Why it matters: The comparative “more frequently” requires a parallel “than in” phrase.
- 4. Use a precise relative Original: virtual friendships where Suggested revision: virtual friendships in which Why it matters: “In which” more precisely links the people’s situation to the abstract noun “friendships.”
- 5. Fix awkward collocation Original: vast in number Suggested revision: numerous Why it matters: “Numerous” expresses a large number of connections more naturally.
- 6. Use formal phrasing Original: negatively impacted Suggested revision: had a negative impact on Why it matters: The noun phrase is a more natural formal collocation in this sentence.
- 7. Make the verb direct Original: result in weakened social skills Suggested revision: weaken social skills Why it matters: The direct verb expresses the same relationship more concisely.
- 8. Clarify the reference Original: those physically present Suggested revision: the people physically present Why it matters: Naming the people removes a brief ambiguity after the reference to devices.
- 9. Tighten the result link Original: which reduces the strength of interpersonal bonds Suggested revision: thereby weakening interpersonal bonds Why it matters: “Thereby” links the behaviour to its stated result more concisely.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, it is common to see family members or friends sitting together at a restaurant while each person is focused on their phone, scrolling through social media or replying to messages, rather than engaging in real conversation with one another. Suggested revision: For instance, family members or friends may sit together at a restaurant while focusing on their phones and scrolling through social media or replying to messages instead of talking to one another. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the wordy opening and streamlines the long sequence of actions.
Suggested Rewrites
- dynamics of human connections nature of human relationships
- on for
- rather than face-to-face conversations than in face-to-face conversations
- virtual friendships where virtual friendships in which
- vast in number numerous
- negatively impacted had a negative impact on
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is especially strong in its clear, consistent position and its well-developed explanation of how digital communication creates more superficial and virtual relationships. The argument is fluent and precise, though its focus is almost entirely on harmful effects and some examples overlap; greater sophistication would come from briefly acknowledging a meaningful benefit before showing why the negative consequences still outweigh it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly, with relevant explanations and specific examples supporting a clear negative evaluation.
Add a concise concession about a genuine relational benefit and explain why it does not outweigh the identified harms.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, paragraphs have clear functions, and cohesive links guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
Avoid using two similar device-distraction examples in the same paragraph by consolidating them into one sharper illustration.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with strong control of terms such as 'authenticity', 'overreliance', and 'interpersonal bonds'.
Refine the slightly awkward phrase 'vast in number' to a more natural expression such as 'numerous'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and nearly all sentences are error-free and easy to follow.
Polish the few remaining collocational details, such as using 'negative consequences for' rather than 'negative consequences on'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.