The chart below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009.
Sample Response
The proportions of research students, both male and female, who were studying in six different science courses at a UK university in 2009 are revealed in the form of bar chart. All in all, the proportions of male research students in Physics, Astronomy and Geology were much higher than the female research students while more female were engaged in Veterinary Medicine than that of males. Looking at the detail it is clear that the number of male students was always more than the women, except in the research class of Veterinary Medicine. The gap between the number of male and female students is most visible in Physics subject in which there were more than 200 male students against the only 40 female students. Interestingly, the numbers of women students who took Veterinary Medicine was higher than the men, nonetheless. In this faculty, the proportion of men scholars was nearly a hundred, just a couple of tens less than the women. The Highest number of research students were in Biology while the lowest number of that students could be observed in Veterinary Medicine. In summary, female research students in the UK in 2009 preferred Biology, Medicine and Veterinary Medicine while male research students mostly preferred Biology, Physics, and Medicine.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Report numbers, not proportions Original: proportions Suggested revision: numbers Why it matters: The chart presents student counts rather than percentages or proportions.
- 2. Add missing article Original: in the form of bar chart Suggested revision: in the form of a bar chart Why it matters: The singular countable noun bar chart requires an article here.
- 3. Match chart terminology Original: science courses Suggested revision: science-related subjects Why it matters: The chart categorizes students by academic subjects rather than by separate courses.
- 4. Fix introductory phrase Original: Looking at the detail it is clear Suggested revision: Looking at the details, it is clear Why it matters: The plural noun is natural here, and the introductory phrase needs a following comma.
- 5. Compare equivalent quantities Original: the number of male students was always more than the women Suggested revision: the number of male students was higher than the number of female students Why it matters: A numerical count must be compared with another count rather than directly with people.
- 6. Use correct category Original: the research class of Veterinary Medicine Suggested revision: Veterinary Medicine Why it matters: Veterinary Medicine is presented as a subject category, not as a research class.
- 7. Describe the largest gap Original: is most visible Suggested revision: was greatest Why it matters: Greatest states the quantitative comparison more precisely and maintains past tense.
- 8. Remove unnecessary noun Original: in Physics subject Suggested revision: in Physics Why it matters: The subject name can follow in directly without the noun subject.
- 9. Use neutral comparison Original: against the only 40 female students Suggested revision: compared with only 40 female students Why it matters: Compared with is clearer and more appropriate for a statistical comparison.
- 10. Use correct unit Original: faculty Suggested revision: subject Why it matters: The data point refers to Veterinary Medicine as one subject, not to an entire faculty.
- 11. Use accurate measure Original: the proportion of men scholars Suggested revision: the number of male research students Why it matters: The bar shows a count of male research students rather than a proportion.
- 12. Correct male count Original: nearly a hundred Suggested revision: about 80 Why it matters: The male bar for Veterinary Medicine is approximately 80 students.
Suggested Rewrites
- proportions numbers
- in the form of bar chart in the form of a bar chart
- science courses science-related subjects
- Looking at the detail it is clear Looking at the details, it is clear
- the number of male students was always more than the women the number of male students was higher than the number of female students
- the research class of Veterinary Medicine Veterinary Medicine
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the main gender pattern accurately, including the exceptional result in Veterinary Medicine and the especially large gap in Physics. Its main limitation is uneven precision: it repeatedly calls student numbers proportions, gives few figures for most subjects, and uses preference language that the chart does not establish. Prioritise accurate quantity terms and support the overview with grouped comparisons across all six subjects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview selects the central gender contrast and the key exceptions accurately, but detailed coverage is limited and some interpretations overreach the chart.
Describe numbers rather than proportions or preferences and add grouped figures for Astronomy, Geology, Biology, and Medicine.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a recognisable overview-to-detail progression, though the single block and repeated overview-style statements weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two focused detail paragraphs and avoid repeating broad conclusions at the end.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of subject and comparison vocabulary, but several choices are imprecise or unnatural for chart reporting.
Replace phrases such as engaged, men scholars, and research class with precise terms such as studied, male students, and subject.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the comparisons clearly, despite recurring agreement, article, and comparison-form errors.
Check number agreement and compare like with like, especially in constructions involving the number of students.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.