The graphs show enrolment in different colleges in the Higher Colleges of Technology in 1999. HTC Graduates by Colleges HTC Graduates by levels and genders
Sample Response
The graphs presented give information about the number of students enrolled in 10 different Higher Colleges of Technology (HCT) branches across UAE by gender and the level of college education they achieved. Overall, Dubai Women’s College has the highest number of enrolment among all the colleges while Ras Al Khaimah Men’s College has the least number of students.
As is presented, there are more female graduates than male graduates and most of the students finished with Certificates. Bachelor’s degree has the least number of graduates and there are no male students under this level. In terms of the number of graduates in Colleges, Dubai Women’s has the largest number of successful students with a population of 547 followed by Dubai Men’s with 426. Abu Dhabi Women’s had 293 graduates, 20 students more compared to Abu Dhabi Men’s graduate with only 273. A majority of the graduates are female. Both male and female students graduated mostly with certificates. Just under 700 graduates were female and around 575 graduates were male in the same level. As is observed there are no male students in bachelor’s level and there are approximately 60 female students on this level making it the least number of lever achieved by the students. The pie chart shows that 50% of all the students graduated with certificates. 27% of which graduated with a diploma. Higher diploma level was 7% lesser than that of the latter while only 3% achieved the bachelor’s degree.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Chart measure Original: students enrolled Suggested revision: graduates Why it matters: The visuals show HCT graduates, not current enrolment.
- 2. Article needed Original: branches across UAE Suggested revision: branches across the UAE Why it matters: Use the before UAE.
- 3. Wrong measure Original: number of enrolment Suggested revision: number of graduates Why it matters: The chart counts graduates by college.
- 4. Natural superlative Original: least number of students Suggested revision: smallest number of students Why it matters: Smallest number is more natural than least number.
- 5. Repeated opener Original: As is presented Suggested revision: The charts show Why it matters: This avoids a mechanical transition.
- 6. Wrong preposition Original: under this level Suggested revision: at this level Why it matters: Use at for an educational level.
- 7. Noun form Original: Abu Dhabi Men’s graduate Suggested revision: Abu Dhabi Men's College, which had Why it matters: The phrase needs the college name and a clear verb.
- 8. Chart value Original: population of 547 Suggested revision: figure of 547 Why it matters: Population is not the best word for a graduate count.
- 9. Approximate value Original: approximately 60 female students Suggested revision: about 50 female graduates Why it matters: The female bachelor bar is closer to 50.
- 10. Word choice error Original: least number of lever achieved Suggested revision: smallest number of graduates at any level Why it matters: Lever is the wrong word; the chart refers to education levels.
- 11. Percentage comparison Original: 7% lesser than that of the latter Suggested revision: 7 percentage points lower than the diploma share Why it matters: Use percentage points when comparing 20% and 27%.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: The graphs presented give information about the number of students enrolled in 10 different Higher Colleges of Technology (HCT) branches across UAE by gender and the level of college education they achieved. Suggested revision: The charts show the number of HCT graduates from ten UAE colleges in 1999, broken down by college, gender, and qualification level. Why it matters: This corrects the measure and introduces all three visuals clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- students enrolled graduates
- branches across UAE branches across the UAE
- number of enrolment number of graduates
- least number of students smallest number of students
- As is presented The charts show
- under this level at this level
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response covers the main patterns across the college bar chart, the level-by-gender chart, and the pie chart. It accurately identifies Dubai Women's as the largest and Ras Al Khaimah Men's as the smallest, but it sometimes says enrolment when the visuals show graduates and gives a slightly high estimate for female bachelor graduates.
Refer consistently to graduates, not enrolment, and report bachelor graduates as about 50 females and no males.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a clear overview and then moves through college totals, gender and level details, and the pie chart. However, the second paragraph is very long and contains repeated framing phrases.
Use separate paragraphs for college totals and for education levels by gender.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate, but there are repeated word-choice problems such as enrolment, population, and lever achieved.
Use precise chart language: graduates, colleges, levels, certificate, diploma, higher diploma, and bachelor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The meaning is clear, but there are frequent article, preposition, and singular/plural errors.
Check phrases such as the highest number of graduates, at this level, and Abu Dhabi Men's College.