The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011.
Sample Response
The given bar graph shows data on the number of male and female research students who were studying in six different subjects at a US university in 2011. As is observed from the given data, more male students were doing research in mathematics, programming and engineering subjects while in linguistic subjects, more females were in research related study than their male counterpart. According to the graph, 200 males were doing their research in Mathematics in 2011 whereas only about 40 female students were in the same faculty. The only subject in which the number of female researchers was higher than the male was Linguistics amounting more than 100 females compared to the around 80 males. More students were doing their research in Phycology and Natural Science than Engineering and Programming. Interestingly the number of students in Natural Science was same for male and female and that was 200. Again, both in Engineering and Programming there were 150 male students compared to the less than 100 female students. In conclusion, more males were in research studies in Mathematics, Programming, Engineering and Psychology than women in the given US University in 2011 than females. Female research students only superseded males in linguistic research.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Preposition choice Original: who were studying in six different subjects Suggested revision: who were studying six different subjects Why it matters: No preposition is needed after 'studying' in this context.
- 2. Less formulaic overview Original: As is observed from the given data Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: A concise overview marker is more natural for Task 1.
- 3. Use chart label Original: linguistic subjects Suggested revision: Linguistics Why it matters: The chart category is Linguistics, not a general group of linguistic subjects.
- 4. Compound noun Original: research related study Suggested revision: research-related studies Why it matters: The compound adjective needs a hyphen and the noun should be plural.
- 5. Plural agreement Original: their male counterpart Suggested revision: their male counterparts Why it matters: The noun must agree with plural 'females'.
- 6. Wrong category word Original: same faculty Suggested revision: same subject Why it matters: The chart compares subjects rather than faculties.
- 7. Missing preposition Original: amounting more than 100 females Suggested revision: amounting to more than 100 females Why it matters: The verb phrase is 'amounting to'.
- 8. Article error Original: compared to the around 80 males Suggested revision: compared with around 80 males Why it matters: Remove 'the' before 'around' in this comparison.
- 9. Spelling Original: Phycology Suggested revision: Psychology Why it matters: The subject name is misspelled.
- 10. Clarify comparison Original: Natural Science than Engineering and Programming Suggested revision: Natural Science than in Engineering and Programming Why it matters: The comparison should make clear that totals across subjects are being compared.
- 11. Article and plural Original: was same for male and female Suggested revision: was the same for males and females Why it matters: Use 'the same' and plural nouns for this general comparison.
- 12. Precise data phrase Original: that was 200 Suggested revision: at 200 each Why it matters: This states the equal values more clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- who were studying in six different subjects who were studying six different subjects
- As is observed from the given data Overall
- linguistic subjects Linguistics
- research related study research-related studies
- their male counterpart their male counterparts
- same faculty same subject
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report identifies the main gender patterns and includes several useful figures, such as the male lead in Mathematics and equality in Natural Science. However, the overview is not fully precise, one comparison is unclear, and some key totals are underdeveloped.
Make the overview state the three main features clearly: males outnumbered females in four subjects, females led only in Linguistics, and Natural Science was equal at 200 each.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is mostly sequenced logically, but the report is a single block and the conclusion repeats the overview with a grammar problem rather than synthesising the chart cleanly.
Use four short paragraphs: introduction, overview, male-dominated subjects, and Linguistics/Natural Science comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing the chart, but there are several inaccurate or awkward choices, including 'Phycology', 'superseded', and 'same faculty'.
Use precise chart language such as 'subject', 'stood at', 'outnumbered', 'equal numbers', and 'research students'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but grammar errors occur in comparisons, articles, plural agreement, and the final sentence. These errors reduce precision.
Practise comparison structures: 'more males than females', 'the same number of male and female students', and 'fewer than 100 female students'.