We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Sample Response
From now on we do not have to have animals held in zoos, so zoos ought to be closed. In my opinion, I do not agree that zoos should be closed.
Firs of all, many animals are in danger of extinction. For instance, according to the CNN news, which I have recently read on a website, ıf hunting elephants do not decrease, elephants can be extinct in fifty years period. Therefore, we should elephants keep in zoos to ensure reproduction of them.
Second, many people grow up in the city, and live in town whole they life, so they could not see any wild animals or animals that live in a specific area, but if your town has a zoo, you can meet them in there. for example, when ı travelled to Gaziantep, which city is in the south-east of Turkey, I visited a zoo. ı saw a lot of animals. For the first time in my life is observed bears, elephants, lions, tigers and many wild animals that they do not live in Turkey. İf the zoo did not exist, maybe ı could not see any of them whole my life. On the other hand, some of the countries have zoos that are in bad condition. Many animals are suffering from starvation in there. Some of them have died because of it. If a country could not afford zoo's expenditure, it should close the zoo since any of reason is not more significant than animals' life.
In conclusion, in my opinion, zoos should not be closed. It is useful for animals future. Moreover, it is beneficial to children for learning animals and animals life. I would argue that we need to have zoos, especially for animals future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present-time marker Original: From now on Suggested revision: Nowadays Why it matters: Nowadays describes a current situation, whereas from now on announces a future change.
- 2. Remove repeated have Original: do not have to have animals held Suggested revision: no longer need to keep animals Why it matters: The revision states the same claim naturally without the repeated and awkward have construction.
- 3. Correct transition spelling Original: Firs Suggested revision: First Why it matters: First is misspelled in the sequencing phrase.
- 4. Correct word order Original: we should elephants keep Suggested revision: we should keep elephants Why it matters: The modal structure requires subject, should, base verb and object in that order.
- 5. Use possessive reference Original: reproduction of them Suggested revision: their reproduction Why it matters: The possessive determiner their forms the natural noun phrase.
- 6. Capitalize sentence opening Original: for Suggested revision: For Why it matters: The sentence-opening transition requires an initial capital letter.
- 7. Correct relative clause Original: which city is Suggested revision: a city that is Why it matters: The appositive noun phrase a city that is correctly identifies Gaziantep.
- 8. Correct pronoun character Original: ı Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The English first-person pronoun must use a capital dotted I.
- 9. Correct conditional spelling Original: İf Suggested revision: If Why it matters: The English word If begins with a standard capital I rather than the Turkish dotted character.
- 10. State disagreement directly Original: In my opinion, I do not agree that zoos should be closed Suggested revision: I disagree with closing zoos Why it matters: The direct verb disagree avoids the redundant opinion phrase and the awkward do not agree that structure.
- 11. Use extinction collocation Original: animals are in danger of extinction Suggested revision: animals are at risk of extinction Why it matters: At risk of extinction is the standard concise collocation.
- 12. Correct pronoun character Original: ı Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The English first-person pronoun requires a capital dotted I.
Suggested Rewrites
- From now on Nowadays
- do not have to have animals held no longer need to keep animals
- Firs First
- we should elephants keep we should keep elephants
- reproduction of them their reproduction
- for For
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a consistent opposition to closing zoos and supports it with relevant ideas about conservation and public education, while sensibly acknowledging that poorly funded zoos may need to close. Its main limitation is frequent language error and uneven organisation, especially where the long second body paragraph mixes visitor experience with animal welfare. The highest-priority improvement is to develop conservation and education in separate paragraphs using shorter, accurately constructed sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported by relevant conservation and educational arguments, though some ideas and examples are repetitive or only partly developed.
Explain how responsible zoos support breeding and education, then distinguish them clearly from facilities that fail welfare standards.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an identifiable introduction, supporting ideas, and conclusion, but one oversized paragraph combines different arguments and weakens progression.
Use separate paragraphs for conservation, educational access, and the qualification concerning badly managed zoos.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the topic, but frequent repetition, spelling problems, and inaccurate word combinations limit precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'at risk of extinction', 'reduce elephant hunting', 'support breeding programmes', 'animal welfare', and 'operating costs'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in word order, agreement, articles, pronouns, conditionals, and sentence formation cause strain.
Prioritise accurate simple patterns such as 'we should keep elephants in zoos', 'people may never see wild animals', and 'animals' futures'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.