Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others?
Sample Response
Economic development is one of the factors that affects the success of a nation. However, there are other factors that can determine whether or not a country is successful. Personally, I agree that economic progress is one factor in measuring accomplishment of a country and health and education degrees are true as other cause of national achievement. To begin with, Human Development Index (HDI), which is used widely to measure the success of a country, points than economic progress through national income index is utilised to assess how wealth a nation is. This index indicates how many citizens are living under standardised income level and the vice versa. The richer the people, the more successful the country. In it not uncommon that when a country progresses economically other important aspects, such as healthcare, education, international trade, social security and life-standard of citizens also progress.
Despite economic value, health status also contributes measurement to decide the achievement of a country. The healthier the citizens, the more productive they are in doing their activities. As a result, they can fulfil their rudimentary needs well since they have the fitness to work and earn money. This condition also enables a country to spend less money in eradicating outbreak or epidemic and contribute more money to the social development, for instances, establishing more public infrastructures and developing entrepreneurship to help to cope with unemployed.
Education is also considered as other measurements for national prosperity. In many developed countries, people who attain and can secure better job are those who have a higher level of education. Education can affect people’s ability to compete and maintain their job and wages. If individuals can secure their job, they will not be worry of being unemployment.
From my point of view, none of these three factors, either education, economic or health, outweighs one another. They are equivalent in determining the prosperity of a nation and can affect the functions of each capacity.
All in all, economic, education, and health status are important to create a successful country and these elements have balanced roles for pointing welfare to a nation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: affects Suggested revision: affect Why it matters: The plural noun factors requires the plural verb affect.
- 2. Use natural expression Original: measuring accomplishment of a country Suggested revision: measuring a country's success Why it matters: A country's success is the natural phrase for the concept being discussed.
- 3. Choose accurate nouns Original: degrees Suggested revision: levels Why it matters: Levels appropriately describes the condition of health and education in a country.
- 4. Repair the clause Original: are true as other cause of national achievement Suggested revision: are also indicators of national achievement Why it matters: The replacement creates a grammatical clause and identifies their role clearly.
- 5. Clarify income comparison Original: are living under standardised income level and the vice versa Suggested revision: live below or above a standard income level Why it matters: The revision uses correct prepositions and states both sides of the comparison explicitly.
- 6. Correct opening structure Original: In it not uncommon that Suggested revision: It is not uncommon that Why it matters: The clause requires the subject it followed by the verb is.
- 7. Separate the clauses Original: progresses economically other Suggested revision: progresses economically, other Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory dependent clause.
- 8. Use standard term Original: life-standard of citizens Suggested revision: citizens' living standards Why it matters: Living standards is the standard term for people's material conditions.
- 9. Link the next factor Original: Despite economic value Suggested revision: Alongside economic performance Why it matters: Alongside accurately signals that health is an additional measure rather than an opposing idea.
- 10. Clarify the measure Original: contributes measurement to decide the achievement of a country Suggested revision: contributes to measuring a country's success Why it matters: The revised wording expresses the role of health status with a natural verb structure.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: rudimentary Suggested revision: basic Why it matters: Basic needs is the standard expression for essential personal requirements.
- 12. Choose precise noun Original: fitness Suggested revision: ability Why it matters: Ability accurately expresses whether people are capable of working.
Suggested Rewrites
- affects affect
- measuring accomplishment of a country measuring a country's success
- degrees levels
- are true as other cause of national achievement are also indicators of national achievement
- are living under standardised income level and the vice versa live below or above a standard income level
- In it not uncommon that It is not uncommon that
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay answers every part of the task, clearly identifies health and education alongside economic progress, and consistently argues that the three factors are equally important. Its paragraph structure and conceptual progression are effective, but pervasive inaccurate collocations, word forms, and grammatical constructions make many sentences awkward. The highest priority is to retain the clear argument while rewriting each claim in simpler, idiomatic structures with accurate nouns and verb patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All questions receive a clear answer and the three proposed measures are relevantly explained, although support is sometimes general or imprecise.
Add one concrete national-level outcome for health and education and show how it demonstrates success independently of income.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through economic, health, and education factors before giving a clear comparative judgement and conclusion.
Use clearer internal links between each factor's mechanism and national success, while removing repetitive concluding statements.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a broad academic vocabulary, but very frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices substantially reduce precision.
Use standard phrases such as measures of national success, standard of living, public infrastructure, unemployment, and indicators of welfare.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted throughout, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clause formation, and noun forms weaken control.
Build shorter complete clauses and check plural agreement and complements, especially factors affect, it is not uncommon, and worry about unemployment.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors do you think should be considered? Do you think one factor is more important than others?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.